Posts Tagged ‘sexual addiction’



Sex Addiction Help

January 11th, 2010

In the wake of an ever increasingly sexualized mass media many are finding that the presented images of “free love” or sex without attachment are powerfully deceptive, a destroyer in disguise.

Because in each one of us lays a sacred and strong sex drive, we often fall prey to the reckless philosophy of “do what feels good” or “eat, drink and be merry.” However, these age old body worship practices are just as devastating as they were back then when they were thought up. For you see, all action carries consequences and many without even realizing this fully are now finding they need sex addiction help.

If you or someone you love are in this place of frustration know that you are not alone. There are many who can help and many that have once again gained control of their passions that they lift and serve rather than bleach and burn.

Several things can help you come to a place where you’re prepared to overcome your sex addiction. No one breaks free until they decide to and decision without determination and action is empty. So let’s get you ready to succeed!

First, in the course of your addiction you may have come to believe that you’re stupid, dumb, a loser, a pervert, a lost cause, a sicko or any other number of falsehoods. Remember, you were a son or daughter of God before you were an “addict.” You were put here for a specific purpose and that purpose included amongst other things to overcome all challenges put before you. Remember that God only asks of us what he’s willing to provide. He’ll make a way and this because you are divine and have infinite worth and potential.

Second, you may have also come to believe that you are alone. This reminds me of Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix. If you, as Harry did, start to believe that you’re all alone, it will be much easier for the “Dark Lord” to destroy you. There are three important ways that you’re never alone: 1. You’re not the only ones who know how we feel. 2. You are not the only one affect by your sexual addiction. And 3. You’re not alone in having to climb out of the hole you’re in. We all need others!

Third, you may through countless broken personal promises, have concluded that you’re not able to break free. While addictions break down our capacity to change, it’s not true that we have no choice. You always have a choice! Even if those choices and actions are small at first, as we make consistent effort over time we’ll regain our ability and confidence to act according to our innermost values.

If you’re addicted to sex or sexual behavior, use these tips to prepare you to receive help from professionals. Another powerful way to break the chains of addiction is to learn about addiction in the brain.

Sign up at the right for a free mini-course that teaches you principles that have helped thousands find the sex and porn addiction help they need to triumph over their sex addictions.

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Sexual Addict

January 1st, 2010

Does you or someone you know have obsessive sexual thoughts or experience compulsive urges to act out in some sexual manner? While there is within each one of us a sex drive there is at times problems which come about and interfere with our lives in ways that can prove frustrating, painful or even dangerous. There is a way out!

I’d like to start by refuting the idea that anyone’s an “addict.” While addictions are very real and do occur, the mind has a powerful capacity to color our world by what we believe about it, about ourselves. If in our assessment of self we accept the idea that we’re an addict we also unfortunately may come to believe a whole slue of other things that just aren’t true like “I can’t do anything about it.” or “I don’t have a choice in the matter,“ “I was born this way,“ “That’s just the way I am.”

While we have been born with a particular genetic makeup and some have even been born with propensities towards certain addictions we all were born with the precious gift of choice. There’s ALWAYS a choice. What is often felt as helplessness can be better classified as behavior patterns which has become easier and stronger through repetition and chemical reinforcement.

Also, before you were an “addict” you were first an amazing child of divine heritage with the capacity and possibility to think, understand, grow and succeed at making choices that bring happiness, peace and fulfillment. Anything that teaches you otherwise is false and will serve to further entrench you addiction. Don’t believe it!

So, while you mat have been born with a gene or two for a tendency towards addiction, the whole of your spiritual DNA is eternal and divine.

Now, with this idea in place and remembered often it’s possible to understand that you are not weak, a moron or a loser, but rather that you have great strengths and that the addiction is actually using them against you.

You can learn to see how. You’re not alone in your addiction. There are many who have done it before and many who are finding freedom right now. To receive a free mini-course designed for the “sexual addict” and pornography addiction recovery please sign up on the right.

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Early to Bed, Early to Rise…

October 6th, 2009

The lure of pornography for me is strengthened when I am lax in my devotion to true ideas, the necessity of adequate sleep being one of them.

Today for the first time in a while I gave attention to the time I was going to wake up. I did so with the help of my girlfriend. We decided that we wanted to read scriptures together before she started getting ready for the day. I woke up at 5 to do my own study so we could read at 6. Great start to my day! And I was then ready to take the day head on.

I’ve have tendencies towards having unfocused and unmotivated days, but just this last weekend I put together a schedule and posted it this morning. This has helped me to know where I am going during any given time period throughout the day. It really is like the Cheshire Cat said in Alice in Wonderland, “If you don’t know where you’re going then it doesn’t matter what road you take.” My schedule and waking up early to start the successes rolling first thing has given me some great energy!

john tenniel cheshire cat Early to Bed, Early to Rise...

There is so much energy and power in accomplishing goals when it comes to breaking the strength of a sexual addiction. Sitting around being lost in space only gives my mind ample time to wander onto sexual thoughts. And if I’m tired, bored or lonely it only makes those thoughts all the more enticing to invite in.

I’m grateful for the power of action. We’re all so much more capable than we think. We simply need to define our goal and act in small ways daily until we arrive there. I’ll talk about goal setting tomorrow. It was also on my mind today.

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Face it. Replace it. Connect.

September 29th, 2009

In the sexual addiction recovery program I’ve been going through, I’ve been pleased to engage in a little exercise that’s allowed me to get in between any stimulus and my automatic response to it. Essentially it helps me see that I have a choice in every situation. Because I can see myself talking about it often in my Freedom Journal I wanted to make special mention of it and give a little background on what it entails.

First, I notice temptations or triggers. This takes some practice. Second, I stop what I’m doing, get up (or sit down as the case may be) and begin deep breathing (about 6 seconds in and 6 seconds out). With each breathe out I share with my Father in Heaven something I am grateful for. I do this 5 times. Third, I talk to the temptation and re-frame the situation to reflect the truth and my goals instead of the deceptions I’ve ingrained in my mind through repetitiously following my impulses. Forth, I envision my goals and good things and bring into my awareness the feeling of success. I enjoy it and bask in it for a while.  Lastly, I reach out and connect to another by doing something nice for them, a smile, a compliment, a nice text message or call just to say I was thinking of them.

Take a list of common temptations that lead you to indulge in your undesired sexual behavior. Each day spend some time morning and night practicing this little technique with each of those situations so that when you actually DO face them you’ll have given your brain a way to face and address them rather than giving in. There’s only one big difference between real life facing and replacing and your practice sessions and that is you’re going to have to imagine the temptation in your mind. When you begin to feel the strength of it, that’s when you begin breathing. At first it may seem like you’re inviting temptation, but keep practicing and you’ll break the associations you’ve formed over time.

This has been just one of the powerful techniques in a broader program of healing. It’s helpful to understand this tool in context. To check out my reviews of the program click on one of the following links. From each page you’ll be given a link that will give you access to free educational audio programs about recovery and the brain science behind porn addiction as well as masturbation and other sexual addictions.

Note: The Face it. Replace it. Connect. method is not my own. I learned it from the Candeo Pornography Addiction Recovery Program and made some of my own adjustments. To me, this process has become somewhat of a prayer to me. It has become my expression of faith, or rather the action I have chosen to do to follow my Savior to become pure as he is pure.

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