A schedule has always been something hard for me to stick to. Even the very act of creating one at times is painful to me. It’s not because I don’t want to, because I want to be “free.” In fact, I really love and am energized by the process of creating a schedule, it’s just that I’m so detail oriented that I often get lost in all the possibilities and never complete a schedule; or if I do, I tend to get lost in all the things that I didn’t anticipate that need to get done during the day that I didn’t put on my schedule. The truth of the matter is, if you fail to plan you plan to fail.

Another thing that affects my state of mind is becoming frustrated at not getting things accomplished. When I have no focus like a schedule can provide I tend to do whatever comes into my mind. That’s not that bad all the time as I do fairly often review my goals and what I want to accomplish, however, I do tend to jump more from one activity to the next whenever the thought comes.

This distracted jumping around from subject to subject without persisting to finish much of anything leads to frustration. Frustration is a common feeling that I’m learning to handle better via Candeo pornography program. However, when I’m in a frustrated state and a stimulus presents itself I’m pretty susceptible to jumping on any thought there, such as “look at pornography“, “you need to masturbate“, or “you got some good sexual thoughts, it’s time to think ‘em.” I don’t usually put words to those moments of temptation, but perhaps that’s a good idea for I can then face them.

The next step if I don’t recognize and interrupt the thought/impulse is to rationalize with something like, “just a little won’t hurt” or “I am just going to get online or go in that store.” I’ll then get close to the edge so temptation is closer, but without actually indulging in it, a foreplay of sorts I guess. Again, if I don’t face it, replace it and connect I’ll start to fantasize, self-stimulate or “stumble upon” the temptation until I”m acting out the thought that came to me.

So, With a better understanding of what can happen when I don’t plan and keep focused on tasks I’m going to again get back on a daily schedule. I’ll have more patience this time. As I recognize important tasks that I need to add to my schedule I’ll do so and move on.

So to sum up, focus = reduced frustration = better state of mind = better ready to handle sexual stimuli.