Posts Tagged ‘pornography’



Addicted to Masturbation

December 26th, 2009

Are you addicted to masturbation? Do you find yourself unable to stop despite continued efforts and countless broken promises and ongoing frustration with your perceived inability to control your behavior? Well here are ten questions to ask yourself to get to the bottom of your masturbation addiction.

1.Why do you masturbate?

2.Why do you wish to stop masturbating? Is it because someone close to you thinks it is disgusting or inappropriate? Is it because it interferes with your goals and plans? Is it because you feel deep inside that you’re not living to your fullest?

3.When did you begin masturbating? Perhaps you were taught while you were young. Perhaps when you were a teenager.

4.How often do you masturbate? The more frequently you masturbate the greater the chance of addiction.

5.When do you masturbate? Is there a time of day, like when you wake up or go to bed, that you choose to do it? Attention to this shines the light of awareness into the darkness of despair.

6.What feelings immediately precede your choice to masturbate? This may be a hard one (no pun intended). Often times the addiction gone unchecked leads the one addicted to form a routine. The routine is entered into often not even realizing that one is going into it. Identifying how you feel just before can help you know when you’re most vulnerable.

7.Do you view pornography while you masturbate? While they don’t always go hard in hand viewing pornography adds volumes of images later available for recall in fantasy. Porn doesn’t help an addiction.

8.Do you masturbate despite sexual relations with a spouse? If so, perhaps examining the state of the relationship would help. How open are you with each other? How much do you connect emotionally? Etc.

9.What are your beliefs about masturbation? That it’s okay? Healthy? Harmful? A sin? A moral weakness?? Your beliefs all largely play a part in your addiction. You’ll want to evaluate your Beliefs and look down deep to determine how correct they are.

10.What would life look like without being addicted to masturbation? Many forget that our thoughts determine our actions & without regularly seeing a pictures of freedom from addiction one cannot expect to ever escape.

If you’d like to receive some pornography addiction help, sign up for the free e-course at the right.

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Cure Porn Addiction

December 24th, 2009

The question may be asked of many ailments that plague mankind: Can it be cured? Meaning, can I get rid of the pain and live normally again? While many only treat the symptoms there is real hope when the question is asked by those suffering with a porn addiction. YES! You CAN cure porn addiction.

Belief System

Porn addiction, like many other problems is rooted in the mind. Now that doesn’t mean simply “don’t think about it and it won’t be a problem.” No, what i mean is that the roots of it begin in the brain. Our beliefs are what guide our actions whether we’re conscious of those beliefs or not. Beliefs evaluated can help one uncover the meaning of pornography in their life. Beliefs are important to understand, beliefs of self, of other, of life, of love, of God. Knowing what you believe can put you in a place of knowing what led you to and what is supporting your continued participation in pornography.

Beliefs are a key to understanding your porn addiction; however, for anyone that’s ever indulged in pornography viewing there’s an added element, biological control. The brain is most definitely affected by the beliefs we espouse and the thoughts we have, but another layer is added to the mix when we act on those mental constructs.

Biology of Porn

Viewing pornography however is more than just a regular behavior. Chemicals are released in the brain and body that intensify the experience and cement it deeper into our very being than other actions may. This experience gains ever a deeper hold when it is accompanied by masturbation. The greater ever when orgasm is achieved in this process.

These two components are essential to evaluate if your addiction to porn is to be cured. A good counselor can help you evaluate the limiting and destructive beliefs that led you to pornography and can help you to develop new and productive ones that help you gain control over biology of the addiction.

Mental Illness

Another thing to consider if you are addicted to pornography is the existence of any other mental illnesses or addictions. Many clinicians are beginning to note for instance that the existence of ADHD, alcohol addiction and other addictions of ten accompany porn addictions.

Make sure your looking at the whole picture and not simply your challenges with pornography. Treating your whole self will be much more affective in curing your addiction to pornography than simply looking at the porn problem in isolation.

Find a counselor in your area that can help you evaluate the true motive of your addiction and in the meantime get started on understanding your beliefs behind your struggles by filling in the form to the right for free info & powerful podcasts to help you stop porn addiction.

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How to Break Porn Addiction

December 22nd, 2009

Have you ever heard the phrase “kicking against the pricks?” Picture sawing against the grain or paddling upstream. These phrases all refer to doing something against the natural and intended way. This typically leads to frustration in emotion and in progress. We must learn how to break a porn addiction or we will be broken against it.

While there are methods that help many break free from the chains of addiction to pornography there are also reasons deep down that are very individual to he who is chained. In the course of most therapies designed for addictions you’ll find some way to get at these often “hidden” reasons. Many addictions have a long history that has often been forgotten. Abuse, abandonment, neglect and other root causes could have been tossed into the back of the memory rarely accessed by the one addicted.

However, it is essential that whatever program you use that it has opportunities and even guided helps on accessing those unwanted memories that may have been swept under the rugs of the mind. Reframing these hurts will help you learn how to deal with new pains that you will inevitably encounter.

Breaking a porn addiction also involves gaining a greater understanding of the process of addiction. How the mind works in becoming increasingly more visible and a knowledge of this can help facilitate much needed kindness towards yourself. Understanding the mind’s role in your addiction will also give you powerful awareness of how to use your brain in your favor instead of letting pornography use it against you.

Another key element in breaking a porn addiction is learning to listen. I’m not talking about learning to listen to pour parents, spouse or clergyman, though also have their place and could be a natural outgrowth of what I’m talking about here. No, I’m talking about learning to listen to yourself.

A quiet place, a piece of paper and a list of honest questions to ask yourself can do wonders. Ponder the answers to the questions like, Why do I look at pornography? What do I really want? What does God know that could help? As you think on these and other questions that come to mind you may just have a slue of personal insight that no program can provide…unless of course it has you do this activity as well :) .

If you’re looking for more answers on how to break a porn addiction please put your name and email in the form to the right for powerful information and free podcasts that have been used to help may overcome porn addiction.

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How to Stop Porn Addiction

December 21st, 2009

If you’re caught in the web of pornography, it may seem like a dark cloud covers the way for you to discover how to stop your porn addiction. As a fellow on the journey of deliverance and healing I’d like to offer some helpful hints on how to stop.

  1. Be honest with yourself. Self deception is dangerous because we so often don’t even know we’re doing it. Ask yourself why you look at porn, what your justifications are, if they are true and what you will do to live honestly with yourself.
  2. Confide in a loved one. There’s a powerful air of secrecy that is broken when you share your addiction. You also learn that you are still worth of love.
  3. Do not be opposed to setting barriers for yourself. Just as one with an alcohol addiction shouldn’t frequent bars, you may wish to impose limits on your internet use. You may also wish to choose not to go to movie or grocery stores alone. You know your limits, don’t push them.
  4. Connect with others. There a deep joy that comes from real connecting – a smile, a surprise note of thanks or helping someone with their groceries. It doesn’t have to be big but these acts daily given will help to give you something with which to contrast the false connection that pornography offers.
  5. Learn of your addiction. Knowing is half the battle, was the old line from the GIJOE cartoons. Another saying tells it true, “Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.” Commit to learning and you will be amazed at the ammunition you will have to battle your addictions.
  6. Put your trust in the Lord. Many 12-step programs exist & a core premise is that the journeyer open up to their higher power. There’s a reason – because God is the only one that knows fully what you are going through and exactly how you can find true and lasting freedom. Turn to your Father in Heaven and you will find that you will gain access to not only the truth of the entire universe, but to your greatest friend and cheer leader. :)
  7. Be active. This is two tips in one. Both exercise and being productive can help tremendously. Feelings of depression, worthlessness and low self-esteem are often easily remedied by works and by working out.

My goal with these steps is to give hope and ideas to those seeking to know how to stop porn addiction from ruining their lives. I am assured that there is deliverance and hope for all true seekers of hope and light. To learn more about conquering porn addiction and to get free podcasts about how to stop sign up on the form to the right.

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Pornography has Real Consequences

November 17th, 2009

I picked up a book several weeks ago that I should have left alone, but it gave a definition of pornography that I found particularly cavalier and destructive. The definition was something to the effect that porn was anything that people wanted to suppress and hide about the human body. The attitude was one of discrediting anyone that thought nudity and sexuality shouldn’t be openly embraced. The message was clearly one justifying such a stance.

Over time I’ve learned that many have been fooled into believing that there’s no such thing as right and wrong. It’s interesting how these words can call like sirens. They flatter the unaware listener and say there’s no devil, that there’s no God and that man is free to do what he wants without consequence.

Well, how unattractive would the Hollywood blockbuster be that actually showed the long-term consequences of an all night kegger or the loss of ability of one to connect really with others as they squander their efforts with one-night stands?

Despite the effort of many to disassociate natural consequences from action we will one day have to account for our actions. Facing the music shouldn’t be our sole motivation for seeking out and living according to truth, but it’s a reminder ever now and then to not heed the smooth lies that abound all around us.

Truth: There are natural outcomes to all actions, thoughts, attitudes and feelings. The closer I look the better I can see what leads to what. I will be patient with myself as I watch and pray always that I am not led into temptation.

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Foundations in Christ

October 14th, 2009
The Master Healer

The Master Healer

Pornography is a vicious master. Even when it’s not around I can recall images in my mind and fantasy is a powerful alternative to porn. I have been striving so hard to find a way out of my chains. I have been “working my program” and been very diligent at it, not perfect, but diligent.

I keep having days I’d best describe as cloudy. Though there are bright rays of hope and peace scattered throughout to keep me moving forward I have also felt dazed by not knowing when I will be free. I struggle because I think that “if I just work the program I’ll be better.”

Recently as I read a book by a man who struggled with porn and masturbation addiction that overcame it, he cited all the efforts he poured out to try and rid his life of the prison of pornography. He struggled for 30 years and felt hopeless though he kept trying.

One day it hit him…the answer wasn’t in “trying to be like Jesus” alone, it was in giving his life over to Jesus! Jesus, he rightly stated, is the only name by which mankind can be saved. Thus, any efforts, no matter how great they are insufficient to deliver us from the slavery and sin of addiction.

Only in Christ as our foundation can we be set free. I have felt that many times, but so often forgotten it as I print out a checklist of all the things that he asked us to do and begin doing them. I get lost in the details and find myself right back in the same trap.

So, here, I’m admitting that I don’t fully understand the great doctrine of Christ, the kind that saves, but I want to and commit now to seek him out until I know him.

Just before my religious missionary service I gave myself to a study of the word of God. It wasn’t in the act itself, but it was in what I was looking for that a temporary deliverance came to me while I served. Sober for a year. Alive in Christ. A Mighty Change of Heart. That’s what I want again. Christ, take my heart and make it pure!


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    Early to Bed, Early to Rise…

    October 6th, 2009

    The lure of pornography for me is strengthened when I am lax in my devotion to true ideas, the necessity of adequate sleep being one of them.

    Today for the first time in a while I gave attention to the time I was going to wake up. I did so with the help of my girlfriend. We decided that we wanted to read scriptures together before she started getting ready for the day. I woke up at 5 to do my own study so we could read at 6. Great start to my day! And I was then ready to take the day head on.

    I’ve have tendencies towards having unfocused and unmotivated days, but just this last weekend I put together a schedule and posted it this morning. This has helped me to know where I am going during any given time period throughout the day. It really is like the Cheshire Cat said in Alice in Wonderland, “If you don’t know where you’re going then it doesn’t matter what road you take.” My schedule and waking up early to start the successes rolling first thing has given me some great energy!

    john tenniel cheshire cat Early to Bed, Early to Rise...

    There is so much energy and power in accomplishing goals when it comes to breaking the strength of a sexual addiction. Sitting around being lost in space only gives my mind ample time to wander onto sexual thoughts. And if I’m tired, bored or lonely it only makes those thoughts all the more enticing to invite in.

    I’m grateful for the power of action. We’re all so much more capable than we think. We simply need to define our goal and act in small ways daily until we arrive there. I’ll talk about goal setting tomorrow. It was also on my mind today.

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    I’ve Fallen and I CAN Get Up

    September 29th, 2009

    I’ve found it difficult to get on a schedule for posting regularly, but it may just come from my tendency to want things to be perfect before they go out. I think it will be more beneficial if I simply write just a little each day instead of endlessly philosophizing. So, here it goes:

    Yesterday I had a rough day. It was rough because when I was tempted I did not fully give my heart to engaging in my “Face it. Replace it. Connect.” exercise. This simple skill has come to mean a couple very special things to me.

    By giving attention to how I’m feeling and thinking and then facing it with God’s help I have seen that each day I am given so many opportunities to choose who I follow and what direction I go. THAT is powerful!

    So, back to yesterday. When I was tempted by my situations I stopped myself mid indulgence and ran from each one, believing the lies that were swirling around in my head:

    • You are not a good person, look at what you’re thinking.
    • This is too powerful. You can’t fight it.

    The day almost ended with a conversation with my girlfriend. I spoke to her about my day filled with temptation and how I hadn’t fully faced them. I say almost because when I went home I opened my mind again to fantasy and in a tired state I proceeded to remove the computer filter that has been ever so helpful. I then indulged in pornography viewing and self-stimulation until about 4:30 in the morning all the while despising myself for the choice. I had had the thought to just go to bed. I had another impression to call my girl. I followed neither.

    This morning as I talked to my girlfriend about it we both expressed frustration, but hope. We made a couple of invaluable observations.

    1. I am not the feelings I was feeling. I am God’s son.
    2. I should focus in on the progress and growth I’ve been making, not that I slipped again.
    3. Because of the success I’d been having over the last week, the porn felt foreign to me. This was a step in a good direction.

    All in all, I have had some valuable moments this morning as I’ve thought and written about the whole experience. I also began level 5 of my porn addiction recovery program. The first question was how the intensity of my recovery has changed. I HAVE felt the strength of the temptations lessening because I’ve been given a tool that allows me to stop, think, feel and act. Without this tool I had been running from my temptations and giving into them when I got tired of running.

    Though I slipped a bit, I know that I’m not back to ground zero. I acknowledge the powerful changes that are taking place in my life. I know that they are a process and I’m pleased to be on this journey to freedom.

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