Posts Tagged ‘porn addiction’

« Older Entries

What does REAL freedom from porn look like and how does a person get there?

September 11th, 2010

This question was chosen by Jon, but it mirrors the purpose behind our creation the second video explaining the Destination Freedom Map: Where Are You Going? When you don’t know where you want to go, what a victory or a success looks like, it’s much much harder to come by. Many wander aimlessly looking for happiness, kept from it, just because they don’t know what they are looking for. I came out of this conversation with Jon Snyder with a powerful vision as to what I can hope for as I continue on my journey to freedom from porn addiction. Jon explains how many programs preach “sin maintenance” or rather how to keep away from certain actions like looking at porn or masturbating. It wasn’t until I heard Jon’s freedom looked like that I realized how right on it is to expect a complete healing, but not in behavior modification (will have to change the subtitle of my Destination Freedom recovery map). Don’t miss this episode of the Honest Answers Podcast, I mean it! You NEED to know this and you NEED to know it now. It seriously changed me.

[display_podcast]

I Liked it! Now what?

  • Learn more about Jon Snyder and hear his answers to other questions.
  • Join Destination Freedom for free to hear the entire hour-long interview with Jeff. (sign up at the right)
  • Subscribe to the Honest Answers Podcast to get all the answers :)
  • “Recommend” the question on Facebook, share it with a friend, email it or link to it.

No comments »

Posted in Honest Answers

Tags:

I Know I Should Stop Looking at Porn, But Don’t Want To. What Can I Do?

August 25th, 2010

What’s it gonna take to get you to want to stop? In this episode of Honest Answers Podcast Jeff Fisher talks about the switch that has to go off, deep inside, before change takes place. Don’t wait until you get caught to change. If you yet lack the conviction to stop, take a minute to listen to Jeff’s answer below about what to do when you know you should stop, but don’t want to.

[display_podcast]

I Liked it! Now what?

  • Learn more about Jeff Fisher and hear his answers to other questions.
  • Join Destination Freedom for free to hear the entire hour-long interview with Jeff. (sign up at the right)
  • Subscribe to the Honest Answers Podcast to get all the answers :)
  • “Recommend” the question on Facebook, share it with a friend, email it or link to it.

No comments »

Posted in Honest Answers

Tags:

101 Questions About Pornography – What’s YOUR Question?

July 27th, 2010

So, I get anxious each day wondering what I should be doing. It’s only when I sit down and really meditate & pray on where my energies would be best spent that I access truly meaningful direction. Maybe it’s just me, but I think it’s good every once in a while to head to the mountains and think about where I’m going in life. So, in one of my latest flashes of inspiration I’ve decided to spend some time answering questions that you have about pornography, addiction and the like.

My intention is to take all the questions I gather up and go to the experts: those who have overcome addictions as well as those working with others to overcome their addiction to pornography. Some answers may come as blog posts, others as podcasts (audio interviews) and some as videos.

I’ve kick-started the list of questions to have answered. These are questions I’ve either asked myself or have heard people ask. I encourage you to ask your questions in the comment section below or to otherwise contact me with your most pressing questions about pornography and addiction. I look forward to answering your questions!!

Then make sure you’ve signed up for the Destination Freedom list with the form at the right to be notified of coming podcast guests and as each answer is made available. NEW! Honest Answers Podcast.

Understanding Pornography & Pornographers

1. What exactly is pornography?
2. Porn is just porn when there’s nudity & sex, right?
3. About what age to people typically 1st see porn?
4. Do pornographers really want me addicted or just to go about legitimately selling their product?
5. Where does my money go if I buy porn?
6. If I just look at free porn I’m not supporting the industry, right?
7. What’s the effect of porn on those creating it? What goes on behind the scenes in the creation of pornography?

Something May Be Wrong: Am I Addicted? (Sincere Questions)

8. If I look at porn, can I become addicted? Is pornography really an addiction?
9. How do I know if I’m addicted to pornography?
10. I’ve heard “once and addict, always an addict.” Is this true with porn addiction?
11. I struggle to not look at porn, do I have an addiction?
12. Everyone says watching porn is okay…why do I feel so bad?
13. Why is porn everywhere nowadays?
14. Do I need to see a doctor about my porn addiction?
15. Where can I read more about porn addiction?
16. Are there any lasting effects of watching porn?
17. Is porn addiction genetic?
18. What’ the typical profile of someone who’s addicted to porn?

In Need of Hope

19. I started w/ porn, but now am involved sexually. Is it too late for me?
20. I’ve tried to stop watching porn before. Can I really do it this time?
21. I’ve tried everything! How can I once and for all overcome pornography addiction?
22. Can people really break porn addictions or are they just wired that way?

Understanding Addiction

23. What role does fear play in a porn addiction?
24. What is the role of fantasy in a porn addiction?
25. What’s the role of shame in perpetuating a porn addiction?
26. What role does secrecy play in a pornography addiction?

Porn & the Brain (Porn as a Drug)

27. Why do I always “zone out” when I start thinking of porn? It’s like I can’t do anything else until I look at porn.
28. I’ve heard pornography is like a drug. How?
29. How can porn be addictive if you don’t ingest it?
30. If I see porn once will I always have those images in my head?
31. I’ve seen some pretty bad porn. Will it ever leave my mind?
32. How long does it take to forget the porn I’ve seen?
33. What happens in my brain when I look at porn?

Porn & Relationships

34. Can I watch porn and still have a healthy attitude towards women?
35. Can I overcome an addiction to pornography alone?
36. Can porn change the way I think about women?
37. How can my relationships with others help me in overcoming a porn addiction?
38. I already stopped watching porn. Do I still need to tell somebody about it?
39. How does pornography use affect my relationships?

Porn, Marriage & the Family

40. Can porn really destroy my marriage?
41. How do I tell my spouse about my struggles with porn?
42. My wife said she’d divorce me if she ever caught me looking at porn. I looked. What do I do?!
43. Won’t my addiction to pornography go away when I get married?
44. I’ve got porn, so why get married?
45. Why is porn more exciting than sex with my spouse?
46. What’s the difference between porn & sex within marriage?
47. Can I use porn to spice up my marriage?

Opening Up: Breaking the Silence

48. I feel like I’ll be rejected if I tell others about my porn problem.
49. How can I talk to my parents about my porn problem?
50. How can I overcome my embarrassment to tell someone about my struggle with porn?
51. I’m a public official, sharing my problem will harm many people, should I still come clean?
52. Why is it important to be accountable (i.e. report) to someone else for my porn problem?

Breaking Addiction

53. What can a 12 Step program do to help me break my porn addiction?
54. How can I stop watching porn?
55. What can my life be like without pornography?
56. What’s the role of gratitude in breaking a porn addiction?
57. What’s the role of service in overcoming a porn addiction?
58. Are there any meds I can take to stop my porn addiction?
59. What activities work best to replace my need for porn?
60. Why do I keep going back to porno even though I hate it?
61. What’s the most important thing I can do to break my porn addiction?
62. Are there affirmations I can use to change my attitudes and beliefs about porn and people?
63. Can I use hypnosis to stop my porn addiction?
64. Are there warning signs that someone is addicted to porn?

Addiction Prevention & Maintenance

65. What can I do on a daily basis to prevent porn addiction?
66. How do I identify the triggers that pull me back into my porn addiction?
67. I feel like I have no choice. Why can’t I stop looking at porn?
68. I know I should stop looking at porn, but don’t want to. What can I do?

The Pull

69. The urges to view porn are so overwhelming. How do I prepare to face the urges to view porn?
70. It feels like I’ll die if I don’t get porn. Why are these urges so strong?

Relapse

71. I just totally indulged in porn. What now?
72. If I’ve already relapsed why not just do it some more?
73. Is there a healthy way to deal with relapse?

Spiritual Questions

74. Will I go to Hell if I look at porn?
75. I’m a Christian, why am I still tempted to look at porn?
76. How can I involve God in my recovery from porn addiction?

Setting Healthy Boundaries

77. What do I do if I can access porn at work?
78. I have co-workers/friends that give me porn. What should I do?
79. I’m on the computer all day, what can I do to help prevent using porn?

What’s the Big Deal? Common Rationalizations

80. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with porn. Why should I stop?
81. Isn’t porn a good place to learn about sex?
82. How can I protect myself against the effects of porn?
83. What’s so bad about porn?
84. Is porn really that big of a problem?
85. Is the industry really out to get me? Seems like a scare tactic.
86. Isn’t it true that all guys look at porn?
87. Some say you can’t be addicted to porn because it’s not a substance. Is that true?
88. I only look at porn a little, what’s the big deal?
89. It’s my choice to look at porn if I want to, why don’t people get off my back?
90. Will looking at porn make me go blind?
91. My favorite magazine says that porn’s okay? Are they right? If not, why do they say it?
92. Will boundaries, like a filter, really help me with my porn addiction? I can just get around it.
93. What’s wrong with just looking once at porn to see what it’s like?
94. If porn feels so good, how can it be so bad?
95. I feel so low. Porn makes me feel normal. Why stop?
96. Is there ever a time when porn use is okay?

Taking a Stand: Community Advocacy

97. Aren’t there laws against pornography?
98. What can I do to keep porn out of my community?
99. What can I do to keep porn out of my home?
100. Is it important to talk openly about porn @ home even if there’s no problem?
101. How do I know if someone I love is struggling with porn?

1 comment »

Posted in Shedding Light On

Tags:

Addicted to Internet Porn

December 28th, 2009

Being addicted to internet porn is no different that being addicted to other porn, accept it’s potential to bring about addiction is greater. With other types of pornography there are built in restraints. With a video from a store there is the barrier of being seen by others. With the anonymity of the internet this restraint and desire to keep secret the use is drastically reduced. One can access pornography on the internet without anyone ever knowing.

Another addictive quality of internet porn is that it’s relatively instant. Within seconds one can access any kind of porn imaginable filling the mind with all sorts of misinformation about relationships.

Thirdly, on need not spend any money to see thousands upon thousands of images and engage in hours of stimulation cementing addiction further each moment. Addiction these days is very affordable.

Lastly, one could also access porn anywhere in the world as long as they have an internet connection. It’s definitely more easily available than having to drive to the edge of town to get a video or magazine.

With all these aspects of internet pornography that haven’t ever applied to porn, addicts are growing at an increasing rate. There are also more psychologists to be found now that see patients addicted to porn than ever before. Whereas there once was a time when one may never have come in contact with porn there are now many who stumble upon it without ever looking and our of curiosity become trapped into the vicious cycles of addiction.

There is however hope for those seeking to be free from any compulsive behavior associated with internet porn. If you are addicted, know that you’re not alone and that many have curbed their addictions. Don’t feel ashamed. Addiction is a well understood phenomenon and you can take action necessary to stand up tall as one that connects in healthy ways with others, finds true peace and satisfaction in life and accomplishes great things.

Take action now and learn more about your addiction by filling in your name and email below for a free mini-course on how to break porn addiction.

No comments »

Posted in Shedding Light On

Tags:

Cure Porn Addiction

December 24th, 2009

The question may be asked of many ailments that plague mankind: Can it be cured? Meaning, can I get rid of the pain and live normally again? While many only treat the symptoms there is real hope when the question is asked by those suffering with a porn addiction. YES! You CAN cure porn addiction.

Belief System

Porn addiction, like many other problems is rooted in the mind. Now that doesn’t mean simply “don’t think about it and it won’t be a problem.” No, what i mean is that the roots of it begin in the brain. Our beliefs are what guide our actions whether we’re conscious of those beliefs or not. Beliefs evaluated can help one uncover the meaning of pornography in their life. Beliefs are important to understand, beliefs of self, of other, of life, of love, of God. Knowing what you believe can put you in a place of knowing what led you to and what is supporting your continued participation in pornography.

Beliefs are a key to understanding your porn addiction; however, for anyone that’s ever indulged in pornography viewing there’s an added element, biological control. The brain is most definitely affected by the beliefs we espouse and the thoughts we have, but another layer is added to the mix when we act on those mental constructs.

Biology of Porn

Viewing pornography however is more than just a regular behavior. Chemicals are released in the brain and body that intensify the experience and cement it deeper into our very being than other actions may. This experience gains ever a deeper hold when it is accompanied by masturbation. The greater ever when orgasm is achieved in this process.

These two components are essential to evaluate if your addiction to porn is to be cured. A good counselor can help you evaluate the limiting and destructive beliefs that led you to pornography and can help you to develop new and productive ones that help you gain control over biology of the addiction.

Mental Illness

Another thing to consider if you are addicted to pornography is the existence of any other mental illnesses or addictions. Many clinicians are beginning to note for instance that the existence of ADHD, alcohol addiction and other addictions of ten accompany porn addictions.

Make sure your looking at the whole picture and not simply your challenges with pornography. Treating your whole self will be much more affective in curing your addiction to pornography than simply looking at the porn problem in isolation.

Find a counselor in your area that can help you evaluate the true motive of your addiction and in the meantime get started on understanding your beliefs behind your struggles by filling in the form to the right for free info & powerful podcasts to help you stop porn addiction.

No comments »

Posted in Shedding Light On

Tags:

Stop Porn Addiction

December 23rd, 2009

Trying to stop a porn addiction? It’s been frustrating hasn’t it? You’ve made promise after promise to yourself and others that you’d never do it again…and yet you did. If you have found your way here I’m extremely pleased and excited for you. Because here is where you’ll find hope, gain confidence and learn the way to stop a porn addiction!

Before I invite you to get some free information and powerful podcasts I will go over a few of the principles I consider to be a necessary foundation for stopping an addiction to pornography.

Principle 1: There is a God and he loves you infinitely. To understand that there is a being who knows where I have been, how I feel and the circumstances of how I got into this place is good, but then also to know that I am his child and thus have infinite potential and capability and strength is amazing! He loves us and thus we may know that any thoughts or feelings that cut us down and tell us we’re no good are not from him.

Principle 2: We have a choice. Many have come to a believe, as I did at times, that having an addiction means that I have no choice in the matter. There is always a choice! Though urges and feelings of acting out most likely have grown stronger by acting on them, we always have a choice. Often when we indulge in porn viewing we have let ourselves believe we have no choice or it’s too strong. Use your agency wisely and your capacity to make proper choices will increase. Abuse that gift by rationalizations and that too will become easier.

Principle 3: There is always hope! Hope isn’t something that ever goes away. While we may turn away and thus not see it, it’s always nearby. Admitting our true situation may be scary, but only by doing so can we assess the scene rightly and lay the foundation to move on.

“When the student is ready the teacher will appear,” says an ancient Chinese proverb. If you’re ready to learn how to break a porn addiction put your name and email in the form to the right for powerful tools and education to make your promises to yourself finally last.

2 comments »

Posted in Instilling Hope

Tags:

Conquering Porn Addiction

December 19th, 2009

Are you looking for help in conquering a porn addiction? To you I say that perhaps no wiser words were ever uttered than “seek and ye shall find.”

Are you sincere in your journey to conquer it? Or have you been threatened by a spouse, parent, judge or other? No matter. Either way, as you take courageous steps to learn about your addiction & the harmful effects that pornography is having on you, you will most likely reach a point of awareness that will open your heart wide enough for a dsire to kick the addiction.

If you don’t currently have that desire it’s okay. Desire comes as one considers what he really wants in his life, as he learns the truths necessary to achieve those goals (including how addictions form & how to get rid of them) & as he begins to move towards it.

Now that we’ve established that you’re seeking to conquer your addiction & do or will soon gain the sincere desire to be commited to whatever its gonna take to do so, let’s move on to examining some of the truths about porn that you should know for your journey to be successful.

  1. Pornography NEVER only affects the viewer alone: Porn, in its production, harms in many ways those who are depicted. Abuse, manipulation & deception are often used to get victims to pose. There is also a violent underground sex trade that is fed by the demand for pornography.
  2. Pornography releases the same powerful chemicals in the brain as do many dangerous drugs. It’s been referred to as an erototoxin. It mimics normal & healthy sexual process, but produes quite a different result that does intercourse between husband & wife – it binds the viewer to its degrading images rather that to a real human.
  3. Porn addiction moves forward in a progression. The very nature of addiction leads one to seek greater & greater thrills, causing the one with the addiction to drop their morals, values & even break ties with loved ones in order to continue pursuing the illusory pleasure.

These simple 3 truths about pornography are but the beginning of things to consider if you’re seeking to conquer porn addiction. Overcoming requires a commitment to learning, introspection & positive actions.

Without these one merely starts & stops never truly arriving at their destination. And as I’m sure you may know this can be very frustrating, not to mention exhausting. If you’ve felt this frustration, know there IS hope! You are not alone!

There are paths that those seeking freedom from porn addiction are taking right now to come off conquers. Learn how! Just fill in your name & email at the right for free information, podcasts & professionals & more. There is also help for the “masturbation addict.”

1 comment »

Posted in Shedding Light On

Tags:

Help with Porn Addiction

December 17th, 2009

Are you or someone you know seeking help with a porn addition? Well, you’ve come to the right place! I too am on the same journey. In my seeking to know more about porn addiction I’ve learned a few vital keys that seem obvious to me now, but weren’t so obvious before I began my quest to break free from porn addiction. I’d like to share a few of those insights with the hope that someone struggling with an addiction to pornography may find them useful & gain a hope of deliverance.

  1. Powerful urges have been placed inside all of us. Were it not so, man & woman may have never joined together, bringing beautiful souls into the world. They we’d not be able to grow to our fullest capacity in complete unity & love. These urges are a gift from a loving Father in Heaven.
  2. The brain has a way to make false sexual encounters, i.e. those with pornography, masturbation, etc seem real. The same chemicals are released during those counterfeit activities as are released during real sexual relations. The real deal has the power to thus bind husband & wife together & again, allow for children to be born into the world.
  3. False beliefs about self can feed into one’s indulgent cycle. I have often felt inferior to others, a discrediting of my abilities & what I “deserve” in life. For a long time I didn’t feel worthy of love from another. This laid a ripe foundation for my involvement with porn and masturbation. Not cool!
  4. My Heavenly Father loves me no matter what! Whatever your religious beliefs it is common to feel disconnected from your spiritual source. This equates into feeling disconnected with others, who are a vital source of strength & help in any pornography recovery and healing. I learned that I am never alone & that my actions affect others always.

I learned this & many more things along my path to freedom from porn addiction. If you or someone you know are aching inside & seeking help with a porn addiction please consider joining me on a powerful journey of transformation that’s been helping thousands. Simply fill in your name & email at the right for some free information that will give you incredible ability to leave behind pornography & find true joy.

1 comment »

Posted in Instilling Hope

Tags:

Pornography Recovery

December 16th, 2009

Recovery from pornography addiction can be a tricky endeavor. There are so many voices these days who claim that there is nothing wrong with viewing porn and some psychologists even use it to “enhance marital intimacy.”

While there are so many who justify its use there is a voice inside each one of us which, if listened to, tells us that there is something noble and uplifting about modesty, something virtuous about waiting to give that part of ourselves until the whole self can be given in marriage & something profoundly powerful about sexual purity until that is achieved.

There are powerful mechanisms in the brain that help lock into place the desire to view porn once it has already been viewed. If you’ve found yourself caught in this rut, don’t get down on yourself. Shame most likely will not lead you to overcome this struggle.

While there are ideal sexual conditions, there are many who have stumbled for whatever reason upon the many false portrayals of human intimacy that promise, but can never deliver true joy.

Pornography addiction recovery is possible and is one of the best things that one who’s addicted can do for themselves and for others in their life. There IS hope if you’ve fallen into despair. There IS a reason to break free if you’ve been caught up in the illusion of porn. There is true beauty to be had again & confidence to be restored.

If you or someone you know is seeking freedom from porn addiction there are several directions you could take, but know that each one requires a sincere commitment, even if it just begins as a commitment to simply learn a bit about the addiction & behavior.

Take a deep breath, imagine where you want to be & let that feeling build in you. When you are ready to take the 1st step, sign up at the right for a free mini-course that will help you learn the skills that thousands have now learned and used to successfully overcome pornography & other sexual addictions. You have great strengths, but they’re being used you. Learn how to turn the tables!

1 comment »

Posted in Instilling Hope

Tags:

Christian Porn Addiction

December 15th, 2009

Believers in Christ are not exempt from experiencing temptation. As human beings we all experience the natural and wonderfully divine urges that draw man and women close to one another. There is a very beautiful reason for these sexual feelings. They were placed inside of us by a loving Father in Heaven.

As Christians learn at some point, we are all members of a great eternal family and on earth we have the grand opportunity to seek out loving relationships & to bind them in an unique and powerful way through marriage. Within the bonds of marriage we can find the true purpose for those sexual urges within us.

Sometimes Christians are falsely taught that sex is evil and that their bodies are wicked and thus their sexual desires are as well. This is most definitely not true, but if believed can lead to distorted efforts to seek out sexual expression through the means of masturbation, porn & other sexual behaviors that lie outside the limits that their Father in heaven has set.

Expression of this sort is has been forbidden by Him, not for a cruel punishment, but as a loving guideline to prevent the unhappiness that comes from these deceptively pleasing, but utterly selfish expressions of the sexual drive within each one of us.

One of the sad outcomes of engaging in these behaviors can be addiction of an image of intimacy as opposed to the powerfully fulfilling “real thing.” Victor L. Brown in his powerful book Human Intimacy tells how intimacy occurs on many levels & is not equal to mere sexual encounters.

Porn addiction in Christians is truly a sad thing. If you are Christian & have a porn or sex addiction, know first that you are not alone. Many struggle with this temptation & many heal.

Know too that your Father in Heaven ALWAYS loves you and is eager to  hear from you your heartaches & to help you experience true joy, freedom from porn addiction.

Put your name & email in the form on the right to receive a powerful mini-course that helps you understand your addiction & how to harness your natural abilities to escape.

7HXVHPUW66AX

1 comment »

Posted in Instilling Hope

Tags: