It takes a lot to admit your flaws, to admit that you’re not where you want to be. It’s difficult to be vulnerable with friends, let alone a whole bunch of strangers who find their way to your website. So, I’ve been avoiding updating everyone on my status and reaching out to those who have answers and interviewing them over the last couple months. I know it’s normal to feel fear, but it’s not as common to admit it and face it. I’ve once again come to the conclusion that the more I open up and share from the heart the more I am able to walk through the fear instead of cowering in a corner each time I feel it.

The last two weeks I’ve gone back to my 12 step program that I think I’ve been avoiding. I also met today with my religious leader. I’m setting goals to move on with my life, I’m planning my days and turning my desires over to a higher power. Through all of this I have been learning that strength comes from honesty. I felt that before and had even begun writing a book about it. It just feels like I can’t write until learn more about the topic. There’s a reason I guess that I keep relearning the need for honesty. Each time I close up and try to hide things from those who offer their help to me I jump onto a superficial plane where I’m not able to progress. It feels like I’m trying to ride my bike to a destination hundreds of miles away, but doing it on a stationary bike.

I often think about the interviews I’ve done up until this point with great men and women and they’ve all had one thing in common, they’ve all shown me in one way or another that they’ve had courage in the face of fear.

I just want to say thank you to those who have listened, who have supported me endlessly (even when I don’t appear to be making any progress) and for the friends, family and strangers who have shared with me hope and much needed love. YOU keep me going. YOU inspire me to try again. YOU lift me up when I fall and I thank you for it. I’m getting back up and I hope to join you again. Let’s fight the good fight.

“Sex addict” is a term used to describe those who have come to find they cannot resist or live without sex. Because there is often a void they are seeking to fill, a loving relationship, the term “love addict” also is used at times. While I disagree with calling people addicts, I do know first had the power of addiction.

When a person becomes trapped by their sexuality, a prison like no other is formed. When someone is addicted to heroin they can go somewhere where there is none and detox. Sexual addictions can be one of the hardest to break because we carry with us at all times the “drug of choice.” All one needs is a moment to fantasize and the chemicals are released into the brain. And when others are involved with the “addict” it becomes a trap that deadens and destroys relationships.

“Bridle your passions that you may be filled with love,” is a wise statement on so many levels. Imagine your passion and drive for sex to be a horse. Which scenario delivers the freedom you desire – A bucking bronco with the rope tied at his groin or the tamed and broken stallion with the rope attached to a harness, giving you direction and control of his movements?

Are you or someone you know addicted to sex? You’re not alone. Wherever you find people you’ll find others trying to exploit those base desires. But you always have a choice and can overcome if you you’ve found yourself addicted to sex or love. There IS hope! Many others have found themselves addicted and have also found their way out. You can too!

Sign up to the right for a free mini-course to learn more about how the brain experiences addiction and what how you can use it for breaking your pornography addiction.

Before I invite you to get some free information and powerful podcasts I will go over a few of the principles I consider to be a necessary foundation for stopping an addiction to pornography.

Principle 1: There is a God and he loves you infinitely. To understand that there is a being who knows where I have been, how I feel and the circumstances of how I got into this place is good, but then also to know that I am his child and thus have infinite potential and capability and strength is amazing! He loves us and thus we may know that any thoughts or feelings that cut us down and tell us we’re no good are not from him.

Principle 2: We have a choice. Many have come to a believe, as I did at times, that having an addiction means that I have no choice in the matter. There is always a choice! Though urges and feelings of acting out most likely have grown stronger by acting on them, we always have a choice. Often when we indulge in porn viewing we have let ourselves believe we have no choice or it’s too strong. Use your agency wisely and your capacity to make proper choices will increase. Abuse that gift by rationalizations and that too will become easier.

Principle 3: There is always hope! Hope isn’t something that ever goes away. While we may turn away and thus not see it, it’s always nearby. Admitting our true situation may be scary, but only by doing so can we assess the scene rightly and lay the foundation to move on.

“When the student is ready the teacher will appear,” says an ancient Chinese proverb. If you’re ready to learn how to break a porn addiction put your name and email in the form to the right for powerful tools and education to make your promises to yourself finally last.

1. Powerful urges have been placed inside all of us. Were it not so, man & woman may have never joined together, bringing beautiful souls into the world. They we’d not be able to grow to our fullest capacity in complete unity & love. These urges are a gift from a loving Father in Heaven.
2. The brain has a way to make false sexual encounters, i.e. those with pornography, masturbation, etc seem real. The same chemicals are released during those counterfeit activities as are released during real sexual relations. The real deal has the power to thus bind husband & wife together & again, allow for children to be born into the world.
3. False beliefs about self can feed into one’s indulgent cycle. I have often felt inferior to others, a discrediting of my abilities & what I “deserve” in life. For a long time I didn’t feel worthy of love from another. This laid a ripe foundation for my involvement with porn and masturbation. Not cool!
4. My Heavenly Father loves me no matter what! Whatever your religious beliefs it is common to feel disconnected from your spiritual source. This equates into feeling disconnected with others, who are a vital source of strength & help in any pornography recovery and healing. I learned that I am never alone & that my actions affect others always.

I learned this & many more things along my path to freedom from porn addiction. If you or someone you know are aching inside & seeking help with a porn addiction please consider joining me on a powerful journey of transformation that’s been helping thousands. Simply fill in your name & email at the right for some free information that will give you incredible ability to leave behind pornography & find true joy.

However, yesterday as I knelt in prayer and this morning as I was feasting upon the words of Christ I felt a gentle impression that my works ARE important, but that I just needed to remember why I was doing them. My efforts in learning about my addiction and in building skills necessary to face it are not so that I can fill some divine quota that would qualify myself for deliverance from my struggles.

Rather, my efforts are simply my meager offerings that I place on the altar of sacrifice before my Father in Heaven. I then must plead to him for acceptance of the offering that I know is not enough to save myself. Lastly, I must ask with all sincerity for the blood of his Son to cleanse and free me.

So, I again am confident that my efforts to change are not in vain. I simply must always keep the focus on my Savior and his ability, his might, his strength, for I of myself am weak. I of myself have been addicted to lust for almost 20 years. The only break in that addiction came when I began to search the words of Christ to find him and then gave myself to service.

It just hit me now as I’m writing this that I may just be arriving someday soon at the first step of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 step program:

I admit that I, of myself, am powerless to overcome my addictions and that my life has become unmanageable.

I dearly seek the submission necessary to again leave behind my world of addiction and let the Light of Christ fill my heart, magnify my abilities and give me infinite love with which to serve my brothers and sisters here on this earth. Life is too short to spend it in any other way!