Posts Tagged ‘hope’

Pornography Recovery

December 16th, 2009

Recovery from pornography addiction can be a tricky endeavor. There are so many voices these days who claim that there is nothing wrong with viewing porn and some psychologists even use it to “enhance marital intimacy.”

While there are so many who justify its use there is a voice inside each one of us which, if listened to, tells us that there is something noble and uplifting about modesty, something virtuous about waiting to give that part of ourselves until the whole self can be given in marriage & something profoundly powerful about sexual purity until that is achieved.

There are powerful mechanisms in the brain that help lock into place the desire to view porn once it has already been viewed. If you’ve found yourself caught in this rut, don’t get down on yourself. Shame most likely will not lead you to overcome this struggle.

While there are ideal sexual conditions, there are many who have stumbled for whatever reason upon the many false portrayals of human intimacy that promise, but can never deliver true joy.

Pornography addiction recovery is possible and is one of the best things that one who’s addicted can do for themselves and for others in their life. There IS hope if you’ve fallen into despair. There IS a reason to break free if you’ve been caught up in the illusion of porn. There is true beauty to be had again & confidence to be restored.

If you or someone you know is seeking freedom from porn addiction there are several directions you could take, but know that each one requires a sincere commitment, even if it just begins as a commitment to simply learn a bit about the addiction & behavior.

Take a deep breath, imagine where you want to be & let that feeling build in you. When you are ready to take the 1st step, sign up at the right for a free mini-course that will help you learn the skills that thousands have now learned and used to successfully overcome pornography & other sexual addictions. You have great strengths, but they’re being used you. Learn how to turn the tables!

Foundations in Christ

October 14th, 2009
The Master Healer

The Master Healer

Pornography is a vicious master. Even when it’s not around I can recall images in my mind and fantasy is a powerful alternative to porn. I have been striving so hard to find a way out of my chains. I have been “working my program” and been very diligent at it, not perfect, but diligent.

I keep having days I’d best describe as cloudy. Though there are bright rays of hope and peace scattered throughout to keep me moving forward I have also felt dazed by not knowing when I will be free. I struggle because I think that “if I just work the program I’ll be better.”

Recently as I read a book by a man who struggled with porn and masturbation addiction that overcame it, he cited all the efforts he poured out to try and rid his life of the prison of pornography. He struggled for 30 years and felt hopeless though he kept trying.

One day it hit him…the answer wasn’t in “trying to be like Jesus” alone, it was in giving his life over to Jesus! Jesus, he rightly stated, is the only name by which mankind can be saved. Thus, any efforts, no matter how great they are insufficient to deliver us from the slavery and sin of addiction.

Only in Christ as our foundation can we be set free. I have felt that many times, but so often forgotten it as I print out a checklist of all the things that he asked us to do and begin doing them. I get lost in the details and find myself right back in the same trap.

So, here, I’m admitting that I don’t fully understand the great doctrine of Christ, the kind that saves, but I want to and commit now to seek him out until I know him.

Just before my religious missionary service I gave myself to a study of the word of God. It wasn’t in the act itself, but it was in what I was looking for that a temporary deliverance came to me while I served. Sober for a year. Alive in Christ. A Mighty Change of Heart. That’s what I want again. Christ, take my heart and make it pure!

I’ve Fallen and I CAN Get Up

September 29th, 2009

I’ve found it difficult to get on a schedule for posting regularly, but it may just come from my tendency to want things to be perfect before they go out. I think it will be more beneficial if I simply write just a little each day instead of endlessly philosophizing. So, here it goes:

Yesterday I had a rough day. It was rough because when I was tempted I did not fully give my heart to engaging in my “Face it. Replace it. Connect.” exercise. This simple skill has come to mean a couple very special things to me.

By giving attention to how I’m feeling and thinking and then facing it with God’s help I have seen that each day I am given so many opportunities to choose who I follow and what direction I go. THAT is powerful!

So, back to yesterday. When I was tempted by my situations I stopped myself mid indulgence and ran from each one, believing the lies that were swirling around in my head:

  • You are not a good person, look at what you’re thinking.
  • This is too powerful. You can’t fight it.

The day almost ended with a conversation with my girlfriend. I spoke to her about my day filled with temptation and how I hadn’t fully faced them. I say almost because when I went home I opened my mind again to fantasy and in a tired state I proceeded to remove the computer filter that has been ever so helpful. I then indulged in pornography viewing and self-stimulation until about 4:30 in the morning all the while despising myself for the choice. I had had the thought to just go to bed. I had another impression to call my girl. I followed neither.

This morning as I talked to my girlfriend about it we both expressed frustration, but hope. We made a couple of invaluable observations.

  1. I am not the feelings I was feeling. I am God’s son.
  2. I should focus in on the progress and growth I’ve been making, not that I slipped again.
  3. Because of the success I’d been having over the last week, the porn felt foreign to me. This was a step in a good direction.

All in all, I have had some valuable moments this morning as I’ve thought and written about the whole experience. I also began level 5 of my porn addiction recovery program. The first question was how the intensity of my recovery has changed. I HAVE felt the strength of the temptations lessening because I’ve been given a tool that allows me to stop, think, feel and act. Without this tool I had been running from my temptations and giving into them when I got tired of running.

Though I slipped a bit, I know that I’m not back to ground zero. I acknowledge the powerful changes that are taking place in my life. I know that they are a process and I’m pleased to be on this journey to freedom.

Frodo’s Fight for Freedom

August 18th, 2009

So I’ve hesitated for quite some time now to begin writing my 1st post here. I guess it stems from my tendency to have things “just right.” It’s like owning a new journal or book and making your first mark upon it’s bare pages. Well, it’s time to jump in & start swimming. To begin with, I’d like to state my purpose for creating this site. I have an addiction. I’ve been caught in a web of pornography & sexual addiction for some 20 years; and I’m not talking about the kind of cobwebs you sweep easily out of the corner of your room with a rag or broom. I’m talking about the large, incredibly sticky, “WATCH OUT FRODO!” kind of web.

To continue with the Lord of the Rings visual, I’ve often felt like that little hobbit entering the giant spider Shelob’s lair – alone in an uninviting, dangerous cave. I too have at times sent my true friends away, thinking that I could handle things on my own, only to learn that the one I chose to trust was leading me right into a trap. I’ve also at times remembered the light of Eärendil, the “light…in dark places, when all other lights go out.” But as dangerous as it was and because my heart had become filled fear I too have let go of the light and found myself intoxicated by the enemy’s venom & bound by her sticky cords. At times I’ve felt quite like that mission-bound hobbit hedged on my journey, wrapped in the spider’s silken strings awaiting, not victory, but defeat as the poison slowly works its course within me.

I’ve felt the sting of regret, the draining power of poor choice & the despair of hopelessness. However, the reason I write to you today is to stand as a very real witness to the hope there is in the Light. We may at times let fear overcome us and loose sight of this brilliant power as did Frodo convincing ourselves that there is no escape, no hope and no reason to go on, but we’d be doing ourselves a great disservice to internalize this dismal message. There are those who love us and who would bring back the Light that we let go of. We’ll always need to fight if we are to obtain any sort of freedom. There is ALWAYS hope!

This blog is my journey of hope to obtain freedom from pornography addiction & the accompanying baggage that follows such an addiction. I do not consider myself an addict, but rather a child of divine parentage who has fallen into one of the many traps that a very real enemy lays to ensnare each of us in our journey towards the Light.

It is my firm belief that we are all children of a loving Father and that he’s sent his Son, Jesus Christ to, in some incredible way, provide us the power necessary to change our behavior and free ourselves from all types of addiction, I wish to invite everyone, regardless of beliefs or faith, to join me in an enlightening journey of hope.

My goal with this blog is to shed light on the true nature of pornography use and the many lies that are told to bring its viewers into bondage. This investigation will include words from prophets of God as well as understandings from modern science about the nature of addiction. It is also my intent to instill hope in my own heart and in the hearts of all those who wander in the darkness of pornography. I desire to inspire action and encourage commitment to truth and will do this with stories, music, assignments and with other moving means. Lastly, I want to facilitate successful freedom from porn addiction and other sexual addiction by providing resources and tools that truly make sense, that help utilize hope and commitment to change.

I feel love in my heart for all those who struggle as I do. I pray that if you are struggling that you would open your heart to the possibility of a life filled with light and love as you sincerely seek to gain your own personal freedom from addiction. You CAN learn to be in control of your thoughts, feelings and behaviors just as you can learn to play the piano or speak German. :)

Glory to God