Passing day 35 of my 90 in 90 I am learning to surrender. When I first jumped into 12 step addiction recovery meetings it was a difficult thing to understand what that meant, but I’m seeing that it’s a very practical thing to do throughout the day. When I began recovery I began by surrendering my addiction, admitting that I am powerless over it. As I’ve been doing that I, in essence, peeled back a layer of the onion that is my soul. Once that was pulled back I saw that I needed to surrender not only my behavior, but my urges to act out. Once that was pulled back, I noticed that there was frustration that too could be surrendered. Even deeper was what that frustration was stemming from and covering, feelings of inferiority, beliefs that I was not good enough or that I was incapable of succeeding.

Here’s what surrender looks like to me. In moments where I notice my eyes wandering, when I’m frustrated, when I feel irritated, I say to God, “Hey God, I notice that I am looking to objectify. I am giving this desire to you. You’ve promised strength to those who ask. I am asking now for you to take my wandering eyes and deliver to me courage and peace of mind.” I will also often get up and move to a different location or go for a quick walk to have this conversation in order to help change my state of mind. It’s simple. It’s practical and best of all, it’s a skill that I can practice in the moment.

Because of their group approach many find an immediate benefit from attending meetings: breaking the secrecy. Keeping inside struggles of any sort is difficult, not to mention one that lies at the very core of who we are.

Our sexuality was instilled in us by a loving Heavenly Father for the purpose of drawing men and women together in committed and loving relationships to form families and to provide a place for children to learn vital lessons that will prepare them to experience happiness in life through healthy relationships with themselves and others.

A core principle of SAA is honesty. If you can’t be open to yourself about the nature and details of your addiction then it will continue to have power of you. Stating the problem is a powerful step in conquering your compulsions.

Another great strength that’s to be found in the 12 steps of SAA is the confession you’ll make to God and perhaps more importantly, to yourself, that you are powerless to solve your addiction alone. Many, if not most, addicts feel that they are alone. They feel like no one can understand them and that their problem is theirs alone. They feel that it affects no one else and that they can overcome it by themselves. A confession of this sort opens the door to healing and learning how powerful healthy interactions with others can be in your recovery.

Another step is to help others who struggle gain their footing as they begin on their own journey of recovery. This is a way to “pay it forward,” but it also is a way to more firmly cement your recovery. The teacher so often learns much more by teaching.

With these and other principles to help you in your recovery, Sexual Addicts Anonymous may be right for you. Either way, learning about your addiction, being open to sharing with others and committing to do something now all are necessary steps. Freedom IS possible. To receive a free mini-course that teaches powerful principles to those addicted to internet porn fill out the form to the right.

Over time I’ve learned that many have been fooled into believing that there’s no such thing as right and wrong. It’s interesting how these words can call like sirens. They flatter the unaware listener and say there’s no devil, that there’s no God and that man is free to do what he wants without consequence.

Well, how unattractive would the Hollywood blockbuster be that actually showed the long-term consequences of an all night kegger or the loss of ability of one to connect really with others as they squander their efforts with one-night stands?

Despite the effort of many to disassociate natural consequences from action we will one day have to account for our actions. Facing the music shouldn’t be our sole motivation for seeking out and living according to truth, but it’s a reminder ever now and then to not heed the smooth lies that abound all around us.

Truth: There are natural outcomes to all actions, thoughts, attitudes and feelings. The closer I look the better I can see what leads to what. I will be patient with myself as I watch and pray always that I am not led into temptation.