In their book entitled “Willpower is Not Enough,” A. Dean Byrd & Mark Chamberlain explain that one reason we don’t succeed at change despite our continued efforts is that we think we need to force ourselves to refrain, an act of the mind. They explain beautifully that by accessing the power of the heart, by learning to channel our desires, emotions and needs properly we can avoid the daunting waves that can and will sweep over us before they destroy us.

We must know, if we quietly assess the situation, that we are much more capable than we’ve been giving ourselves credit for. We all have value outside our actions. Even the man with the greatest burden is of great worth to God, for he is His son and has the opportunity to obtain all that God has. Even that mans potential beyond imagination.

Breaking free may have seemed impossible up ‘till now, but with God, nothing is impossible! Success is inevitable to one who puts his trust in the Lord. To Him, you’ve already won. Do you wonder why 12 Step programs have been so successful at helping people out of addictions of all types, alcoholism, over eating, gambling, sex addictions, etc.?

One reason in addiction to the connection that one develops with their God in the course of the program is the place of honesty it can bring one to. When one admits before God that they are powerless with out him, they find that his power is more than sufficient. When they surrender their meager control over their addiction they find that the control He provides is much greater than they ever had.

This release may seem counterintuitive, after all, the river rages and you’re determined to fight it. Just let go and you’ll see that the heavens have already orchestrated your safe arrival on the shore.

One other reason that the 12 step programs are so powerful is that they are founded on the principles of personal responsibility and effort. You have been given power to act. You always have a choice even if your capacity has diminished through giving into porn over and over again.

You always have a choice. That choice may be as small as going to a meeting, starting to feast upon the word of God or to open up to a friend or family member, but remember, you always have a choice. As the successful Bob (What About Bob) once learned, “baby steps” is the way to move forward one step at a time.

Here’s one baby step you can take right now to enhance your letting go process: Fill out the form to the right and get access to a free mini-course packed with powerful principles that have helped thousands break their porn & sex addictions!

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Yesterday I had a rough day. It was rough because when I was tempted I did not fully give my heart to engaging in my “Face it. Replace it. Connect.” exercise. This simple skill has come to mean a couple very special things to me.

By giving attention to how I’m feeling and thinking and then facing it with God’s help I have seen that each day I am given so many opportunities to choose who I follow and what direction I go. THAT is powerful!

So, back to yesterday. When I was tempted by my situations I stopped myself mid indulgence and ran from each one, believing the lies that were swirling around in my head:

• You are not a good person, look at what you’re thinking.
• This is too powerful. You can’t fight it.

The day almost ended with a conversation with my girlfriend. I spoke to her about my day filled with temptation and how I hadn’t fully faced them. I say almost because when I went home I opened my mind again to fantasy and in a tired state I proceeded to remove the computer filter that has been ever so helpful. I then indulged in pornography viewing and self-stimulation until about 4:30 in the morning all the while despising myself for the choice. I had had the thought to just go to bed. I had another impression to call my girl. I followed neither.

This morning as I talked to my girlfriend about it we both expressed frustration, but hope. We made a couple of invaluable observations.

1. I am not the feelings I was feeling. I am God’s son.
2. I should focus in on the progress and growth I’ve been making, not that I slipped again.
3. Because of the success I’d been having over the last week, the porn felt foreign to me. This was a step in a good direction.

All in all, I have had some valuable moments this morning as I’ve thought and written about the whole experience. I also began level 5 of my porn addiction recovery program. The first question was how the intensity of my recovery has changed. I HAVE felt the strength of the temptations lessening because I’ve been given a tool that allows me to stop, think, feel and act. Without this tool I had been running from my temptations and giving into them when I got tired of running.

Though I slipped a bit, I know that I’m not back to ground zero. I acknowledge the powerful changes that are taking place in my life. I know that they are a process and I’m pleased to be on this journey to freedom.