So, I get anxious each day wondering what I should be doing. It’s only when I sit down and really meditate & pray on where my energies would be best spent that I access truly meaningful direction. Maybe it’s just me, but I think it’s good every once in a while to head to the mountains and think about where I’m going in life. So, in one of my latest flashes of inspiration I’ve decided to spend some time answering questions that you have about pornography, addiction and the like.
My intention is to take all the questions I gather up and go to the experts: those who have overcome addictions as well as those working with others to overcome their addiction to pornography. Some answers may come as blog posts, others as podcasts (audio interviews) and some as videos.
I’ve kick-started the list of questions to have answered. These are questions I’ve either asked myself or have heard people ask. I encourage you to ask your questions in the comment section below or to otherwise contact me with your most pressing questions about pornography and addiction. I look forward to answering your questions!!
Then make sure you’ve signed up for the Destination Freedom list with the form at the right to be notified of coming podcast guests and as each answer is made available. NEW! Honest Answers Podcast.
Understanding Pornography & Pornographers
1. What exactly is pornography?
2. Porn is just porn when there’s nudity & sex, right?
3. About what age to people typically 1st see porn?
4. Do pornographers really want me addicted or just to go about legitimately selling their product?
5. Where does my money go if I buy porn?
6. If I just look at free porn I’m not supporting the industry, right?
7. What’s the effect of porn on those creating it? What goes on behind the scenes in the creation of pornography?
Something May Be Wrong: Am I Addicted? (Sincere Questions)
8. If I look at porn, can I become addicted? Is pornography really an addiction?
9. How do I know if I’m addicted to pornography?
10. I’ve heard “once and addict, always an addict.” Is this true with porn addiction?
11. I struggle to not look at porn, do I have an addiction?
12. Everyone says watching porn is okay…why do I feel so bad?
13. Why is porn everywhere nowadays?
14. Do I need to see a doctor about my porn addiction?
15. Where can I read more about porn addiction?
16. Are there any lasting effects of watching porn?
17. Is porn addiction genetic?
18. What’ the typical profile of someone who’s addicted to porn?
In Need of Hope
19. I started w/ porn, but now am involved sexually. Is it too late for me?
20. I’ve tried to stop watching porn before. Can I really do it this time?
21. I’ve tried everything! How can I once and for all overcome pornography addiction?
22. Can people really break porn addictions or are they just wired that way?
23. What role does fear play in a porn addiction?
24. What is the role of fantasy in a porn addiction?
25. What’s the role of shame in perpetuating a porn addiction?
26. What role does secrecy play in a pornography addiction?
Porn & the Brain (Porn as a Drug)
27. Why do I always “zone out” when I start thinking of porn? It’s like I can’t do anything else until I look at porn.
28. I’ve heard pornography is like a drug. How?
29. How can porn be addictive if you don’t ingest it?
30. If I see porn once will I always have those images in my head?
31. I’ve seen some pretty bad porn. Will it ever leave my mind?
32. How long does it take to forget the porn I’ve seen?
33. What happens in my brain when I look at porn?
- How does an understanding of the brain influence how we think about pornography?
- What are the brain differences between men and women and pornography addiction?
Porn & Relationships
34. Can I watch porn and still have a healthy attitude towards women?
35. Can I overcome an addiction to pornography alone?
36. Can porn change the way I think about women?
37. How can my relationships with others help me in overcoming a porn addiction?
38. I already stopped watching porn. Do I still need to tell somebody about it?
39. How does pornography use affect my relationships?
Porn, Marriage & the Family
40. Can porn really destroy my marriage?
41. How do I tell my spouse about my struggles with porn?
42. My wife said she’d divorce me if she ever caught me looking at porn. I looked. What do I do?!
43. Won’t my addiction to pornography go away when I get married?
44. I’ve got porn, so why get married?
45. Why is porn more exciting than sex with my spouse?
46. What’s the difference between porn & sex within marriage?
47. Can I use porn to spice up my marriage?
Opening Up: Breaking the Silence
48. I feel like I’ll be rejected if I tell others about my porn problem.
49. How can I talk to my parents about my porn problem?
50. How can I overcome my embarrassment to tell someone about my struggle with porn?
51. I’m a public official, sharing my problem will harm many people, should I still come clean?
52. Why is it important to be accountable (i.e. report) to someone else for my porn problem?
53. What can a 12 Step program do to help me break my porn addiction?
54. How can I stop watching porn?
55. What can my life be like without pornography?
56. What’s the role of gratitude in breaking a porn addiction?
57. What’s the role of service in overcoming a porn addiction?
58. Are there any meds I can take to stop my porn addiction?
59. What activities work best to replace my need for porn?
60. Why do I keep going back to porno even though I hate it?
61. What’s the most important thing I can do to break my porn addiction?
62. Are there affirmations I can use to change my attitudes and beliefs about porn and people?
63. Can I use hypnosis to stop my porn addiction?
64. Are there warning signs that someone is addicted to porn?
Addiction Prevention & Maintenance
65. What can I do on a daily basis to prevent porn addiction?
66. How do I identify the triggers that pull me back into my porn addiction?
67. I feel like I have no choice. Why can’t I stop looking at porn?
68. I know I should stop looking at porn, but don’t want to. What can I do?
69. The urges to view porn are so overwhelming. How do I prepare to face the urges to view porn?
70. It feels like I’ll die if I don’t get porn. Why are these urges so strong?
71. I just totally indulged in porn. What now?
72. If I’ve already relapsed why not just do it some more?
73. Is there a healthy way to deal with relapse?
74. Will I go to Hell if I look at porn?
75. I’m a Christian, why am I still tempted to look at porn?
76. How can I involve God in my recovery from porn addiction?
Setting Healthy Boundaries
77. What do I do if I can access porn at work?
78. I have co-workers/friends that give me porn. What should I do?
79. I’m on the computer all day, what can I do to help prevent using porn?
What’s the Big Deal? Common Rationalizations
80. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with porn. Why should I stop?
81. Isn’t porn a good place to learn about sex?
82. How can I protect myself against the effects of porn?
83. What’s so bad about porn?
84. Is porn really that big of a problem?
85. Is the industry really out to get me? Seems like a scare tactic.
86. Isn’t it true that all guys look at porn?
87. Some say you can’t be addicted to porn because it’s not a substance. Is that true?
88. I only look at porn a little, what’s the big deal?
89. It’s my choice to look at porn if I want to, why don’t people get off my back?
90. Will looking at porn make me go blind?
91. My favorite magazine says that porn’s okay? Are they right? If not, why do they say it?
92. Will boundaries, like a filter, really help me with my porn addiction? I can just get around it.
93. What’s wrong with just looking once at porn to see what it’s like?
94. If porn feels so good, how can it be so bad?
95. I feel so low. Porn makes me feel normal. Why stop?
96. Is there ever a time when porn use is okay?
Taking a Stand: Community Advocacy
97. Aren’t there laws against pornography?
98. What can I do to keep porn out of my community?
99. What can I do to keep porn out of my home?
100. Is it important to talk openly about porn @ home even if there’s no problem?
101. How do I know if someone I love is struggling with porn?