Posts Tagged ‘addict’



Sexual Addicts

January 4th, 2010

Addiction is a well understood phenomenon and these days with our growing capacity to look inside the human genetic structure and brain, that knowledge is ever increasing. Sexual addiction is sometimes not seen as a real addiction and occasionally it’s called a compulsion rather that an addiction, but sexual “addicts” know that despite their efforts to curb their undesirable behaviors, they’re trapped.

Sexuality is at the very core of our identity. It’s part of our very nature and like other addictions, addiction to sex or other sexual behavior can cause immense suffering, frustration and even very real danger.

While addictions to sex and sexual behavior exists it’s often very helpful for the one struggling to not classify themselves as “addicts,” but rather as capable and competent people who have become addicted. You will always he a being of light and great worth. You won’t always have an addiction, so learn now not to label yourself as an addict. It’s a struggle, not who you are. You can change. There is hope. Grab hold of it!

Now because there are all kinds of sexual behavior that one can engage in and subsequently find oneself trapped, it is not my intention to get into each one, but rather to touch on some of the beliefs that are common to them all.

Beliefs are our perception, views, attitudes and they color the way we see the world. Along the way those with a sexual addiction have come to adapt false and harmful beliefs. A good recovery program will help one sort out these and allow for adoption of healthy ones. Here are a few of the beliefs that can hinder healing:

1. “I’m all alone.” No, you’re not. There are people who understand what you’re going through and people that are eager to help.

2. “I’m not addicted.” Whether this is true or not ask yourself the questions, “am I happy? Am I getting the most out my life?” You may see your behavior in a very new light when evaluated in the context of your life goals.

3. “I‘m not hurting anyone.” As humans we need others. If you’re behavior is solitary you are building a wall between you and a real connection with other others. If your behavior is with others then you are jeopardizing your potential for a full and powerful relationship that one who builds unevenly upon sexual relations cannot ever achieve.

If you have thought any of these things please take a moment to fill your name and email in the form to the right for a free mini-course on understanding your sexual addiction and how to escape the misconception of being a sexual addict.

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Masturbation Addict

December 18th, 2009

In the 12 step programs there is a phrase often tossed around that I quite disagree with. The statement is usually something like, “once an addict, always an addict.” While I understand that there’s always a need in everyone’s life to be cautious of falling into dark patterns of behavior, I also know the human brain has an amazing plasticity or ability to change. One should not underestimate the capacity of the human spirit to exert change when it sets its will to do so and for that change to become permanent, a very part of their nature.

With this initial premise in place I wish to talk briefly to those who may consider themselves or be considered by others to be a masturbation addict. Masturbation or self-stimulation is nothing new. Sexual tendencies lie within all of us & they have been exploited in many ways as long as humans have been around.

Quite often those who compulsively masturbate also have incorporated into their belief system false ideas which do them great disservice. These beliefs can lead them to engage in the illusion of intimacy while avoiding the heart of it. While seeing a professional therapist may be appropriate there is much headway one can make on their own to understand & correct those core beliefs.

Each of us has an inner voice that when paid attention to can help us understand great things about ourselves, including the reasons we may have turned to masturbation in the first place.

Even though masturbation is quite common it is not a proper means of expressing the sexual desires we have had placed inside of us by a loving Heavenly Father. Masturbation has been used to condition people to become stimulated by deviant behavior (Human Intimacy, Victor L. Brown). This is one thing that makes masturbation such a problem to those seeking real human intimacy, that deep & meaningful connection with others.

Chemicals released during sexual intercourse help join man & woman together in a committed, loving relationship while masturbation mimics the chemical release but provides not those things that a real relationship can. It also forms a bond to the object of attention.

Pornography addiction for example is a bond often formed by the means of masturbation. A connection to pictures or videos rather than a spouse can lead to wedges driven into what otherwise may have been a beautiful & rewarding relationship.

For the “masturbation addict” it’s important to know first and foremost that you are a child of God with unlimited potential divinely placed inside of you! You have great power to change. There IS hope! Learn to listen to that voice within as you turn your heart to that voice from above. Follow the impressions you get to move towards good, they will not fail you.

Along the way, learning of how your brain can pull you down into an addiction is very important. To begin your journey sign up for the free mini-course to the right that will give you help with porn addiction, masturbation & other sexual behaviors.

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The “True Self”

August 20th, 2009

In the course of my recent search for freedom from pornography and other sexual addictions and heavily rooted in the Candeo program I am engaged in, I’ve seen realized the absolute necessity to correctly understand who I am and conversely, who I am NOT.

Falling in the mud doesn’t make one mud, nor does even willfully playing in the mud while having an understanding of the consequences lead to a transformation of a man back into the elements originally utilized to form his body. I am NOT my addictions.

It was truly refreshing to hear the strong refuting in the Candeo program of the “Once and addict, always an addict” philosophy so heavily taught in the social sciences. I had come accross this same firm stance that we are more than our behaviors a couple years back while reading The Alcholholism and Addiction Cure. In so many subtle and convincing ways we can come to believe that we are merely what we think or do. Even Batman said it so persuasively, “It’s not who I am underneath, it’s what I DO that defines me.”

Wow, I’m just realizing now just how harmful that philosophy can be to the thousands that find themselves trapped in bad habits and addictive behavior and who are looking for answers in fear.

I have definitley struggled against believing I was worthless. I haven’t always succeeded is seeing right, but at times I’ve felt a love beyond description that has surrounded me, made me to feel completely safe and that has given me sure confidence in who I am – a being of eternal light and infinite worth. In those wonderful moments I’ve glimpsed the eternities and felt assurance that everything would work out for the best. It’s that vision of myself to whom I aspire, to which I seek to conform my life to and it’s THAT being that so much is this world seeks to supress.

Through our actions & thoughts we can convince ourselves that the philosophies of man – that man is only man and can succeed by their own strength a – humanism – is true. By doing so we lose sight of the divinty within us, that part that understands truth naturally, that part that reaches out to others in love and concern for their well being, that part of us that truly realizes that we are all one, children of a living God. We can also begin to worship pleasure (hedonism), the mind (intellectualism) or the things which we can create (materialism); again, all leading to the same drab conclusion: that our existence has an end in ourselves.

The “true self” of which I’ve caught glimpses – by cutting through the darkness & filth of negative self talk, indulgence in the physical appetites & idleness – can only be understood by one seeking to find it. This means that behavior and thought don’t define us, but rather, that if properly practiced can lead us to understanding and seeing our true selves.

This leads me my next an investigation on the nature of truth, how to really know it or rather, how to see things as they really are & how to keep from being deceived by those who would tell lies & falsehoods for their own purposes: riches, popularity, power & gratifying the lusts of the flesh.

Glory to God

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