Sexual Dreams

October 2nd, 2009 by Leave a reply »
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Sexual dreams are one thing that I can say isn’t new. In the past I’ve felt bad about having them, like I’m some type of pervert or bad person for having them. I think I felt that way before because I was still not consciously convinced that I could get out of my pornography addiction. They reminded me of my addiction and so I was scared. When those dreams would come into the scene of my mind I’d often wake up aroused and self-stimulate.

I have since come to a very different opinion of dreams. After looking a little into what dreams are I’ve felt some comfort in the thoughts of some dream researchers. Some believe that dreams are ways for our subconscious minds to work out answers to problems that we have during the day.

One researcher had worked with a girl that had been raped and was continually having nightmares about being overpowered by some man. She was told to enter her dreams and face her attacker. When she did her bad dreams stopped. Facing her fears brought about resolution.

[dream video]

Dreams have meant quite a bit to me over the years. I have spent time thinking about the things that happen in my dreams and felt some pretty powerful meanings arise. In one dream I stood in front of a classroom for some sort of show and tell. I had a little red pig that my girlfriend at the time had given to me. As I stood up there I felt embarrassed in front of the classroom, so I make fun of the pig. Everyone laughed, but I saw at the back of the room my girlfriend run away crying. I was unaware that she had been there, but at that moment I knew that I had something in my life that was important that I wasn’t treasuring as I should. Upon thinking about that meaning I was able to clearly identify something in my waking life that I needed to take more seriously.

I am grateful for my dreams and even thought I don’t fully understand them I am glad I have them.

After I woke up this morning I turned on a podcast by Candeo’s Mark Kastleman about Dealing with Erotic Dreams. One thing that I like about what he said was that we can approach waking from our dreams in the same way that we approach any other stimulus or trigger, with facing it, replacing it and connecting. We can do some gratitude breathing if we feel aroused and then give the dream the meaning that we want, replacing old beliefs that keep us trapped as prisoners to those dreams.

He suggested that if it’s too powerful we put in an inspiring movie or some powerful music to help us vividly connect with our motives and goals. And if by chance we wake up in the middle of the night and feel like there’s no way to connect he suggested journaling as a powerful way to connect with other. We could even write a letter to a friend or plan out some service we’re gonna do 1st thing when we wake up.

Breaking from the topic of dreams, I felt like I haven’t been as diligent the last couple of days in my recovery. I haven’t spent time learning or practicing that much. I’m not going to beat myself up for it, so I want to remember some of the great things that I’ve chosen to do. I have been with my girlfriend each day after work and have shared some sweet moments with her and her daughter. Last night we built a fort in their front room and roasted hot dogs and marshmallows over the fire in their fireplace. Good times!

I choose to avoid being complacent and am recommitting to being vigilant in my recovery and I’m excited to learn and grow each day.

Glory to God!



  1. Margarette says:

    I believe that erotic dreams are probably part of everyone’s dreams. I even have them, but imagine that being addicted to pornography doesn’t help in taking them for what they are worth. Heavenly Father purposely made the sex drive strong to propagate the earth. If it wasn’t, people wouldn’t be having children. We just need to use that power within the bounds that the Lord has set! Your reward at the end of your journey will be worth it!

    • Joseph says:

      Yeah, good point. I am very sensitive to sexual dreams and what they mean. It’s good to know I’m not alone though. I never really thought I was, but just never thought about it either.

  2. phil says:

    it must be natural to have dreams that have to do with your addictions.

    • Joseph says:

      Hey Phil, yes, I think it is quite natural. The things that fill our waking thoughts, especially if there is any degree of anxiety associated with them often fill our dreams. From what I’ve studied, it appears that dreams often help us resolve matters that the waking mind encounters. However, that said, even those who do not struggle with addiction have sexual dreams. It’s one of the most common types of dreams supposedly. It’s just that when you have an “addiction” the dreams can be triggers to pull you back into the cycle if you’re not aware and careful.

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