I relapsed yesterday. Upon thinking about where it all began I stumbled upon the fact that I sat in front of the computer with no plan. I was doing anything BUT my work. That wasn’t the problem exclusively. Looking deeper I saw that my thoughts around that was that I was incapable of succeeding in life. It’s THOSE thoughts that create the frustration & anxiety. It’s THOSE thoughts that I’m running from. I’m learning to observe them and surrender them and boy, it’s sure powerful. I’m also getting in the habit of listing things that I’m grateful for. Now THAT’S powerful!
To keep from repeating yesterday, I wrote down exactly what I wanted to do during specific time frames, limiting myself to 30 minute stints online along and visiting only one specific site, the one where I could accomplish what I set out to do during that 30 minutes.
My first 30 minute I spent 10 minutes looking into something that wasn’t on my plan. When my 30 minutes was up I hopped off the internet and changed activities like I had planned. This change was like a reset button and my propensity to wander was starved. The plan worked for today and though I’ve had a real difficult time making plans in the past, I believe it was due to my perfectionistic tendencies that were driven by the belief that I’m not capable of succeeding. The time to leave behind THAT belief has come!
