Sexual Sin – Not the Problem, But A Symptom

February 12th, 2010 by Joseph No comments »

Hey! Welcome back! Please let me know if you have any particular questions that I could answer by going here. Also, make sure to get the free e-course at the right that's filled with powerful advice from professionals. Thanks again for returning!

John Piper talks about sexual sin and what’s at the root, a lack of connection with God. It’s a symptom of the disease, not the disease.

Thousands are walking away from their dreams that can impact others in a positive nature because of the effects of their failed attempts at sexuality.

Guilt and a sense of unworthiness bleeds down into a sense of spiritual powerlessness, of carnal security and strip us of our amazing dreams and we settle for middle class happiness.

Theology, with passion for Jesus can conquer biology.

Beautifully said.

Link To This Post
1. Click inside the codebox
2. Right-Click then Copy
3. Paste the HTML code into your webpage
codebox
powered by Linkubaitor

Popularity: 3% [?]

No comments »

Posted in Shedding Light On

Tags:

Why Are 12 Steps So Effective? | Dr. Patrick Carnes

February 9th, 2010 by Joseph No comments »


Dr. Patrick Carnes is big in the field of sexual addiction & recovery. His Out of the Shadows of the Net was one of the first books I picked up when I started getting real about how to break free from my addiction to pornography.

Several months ago I sat down with my girlfriend at the time and talked about the things I felt like where gonna be critical for my recovery going forward. One of those things was going out to a 12 Step based support group. A while back I went to one meeting, but then got into some groups that were associated with the individual therapy I was receiving at the time. They weren’t really rooted in the 12 steps however.

Here Dr. Carnes gives some of the core reasons why a group like 12 Steps is important in the recovery of those struggling with sexual addictions.

Link To This Post
1. Click inside the codebox
2. Right-Click then Copy
3. Paste the HTML code into your webpage
codebox
powered by Linkubaitor

Popularity: 5% [?]

No comments »

Posted in Facilitating Success

Tags:

Porn Addiction Recovery

January 13th, 2010 by Joseph No comments »

Quite often we approach solving problems very myopically, so much so that we can miss components that appear to have no relation to answer, but play a powerful role in the solution. Such is the case with recovery from porn addiction. I’d like to list ten ways to holistically approach porn addiction recovery in the hopes of shedding a fresh light on a frustrating topic.

1. Exercise your body: giving blood to your brain is a good thing. Find an exercise you like to do, at your level that breaks a sweat at least 3-5 times a week. Body and mind are very connected.

2. Read good books: getting lost in an uplifting, enjoyable novel or self-help book can be a change from the same old thing.

3. Do a kind act for someone once a day: Porn sucks one into a world of selfishness. Without taking thought consciously for others you’ll risk a pitfall into loneliness or depression.

4. Hit your knees and take up prayer: to open yourself up spiritually to a higher power and the pure intelligence that can come from such a connection is at the heart of any recovery.

5. Be industrious: it’s different for everyone, but make sure your time is filled with work that benefits others, energizes you keeper idleness from flooding you with all kinds of temptations and urges.

6. Consider an internet break: a little fast can help you gain perspective and if this is where your problem is will give your some sobriety and time to think about your recovery.

7. Drop the hard music and grab a classical CD or two. Peaceful music has been shown to calm the body and ease stress and merry.

8. Meditation: Breath in and out. Learn to relax man, you’re too uptight!

9. Daily Structure: This can help you get in positive routines that can keep you out of trouble.

10. Positive imaging: Call it visualizing, imaging or whatever else you want, but spending time daily to bring good feelings and pictures into our minds charges us with ability and confidence that leads to better tackling of challenges.

You may feel the need to do all of these. If you’re good at beating yourself up when you don’t do something and you’re know to take on too much at once, pick one to start with. Do it daily for a week, then as you feel good about it, move on to another.

To learn more about sexual addiction recovery sign up below for a free mini-course that teaches principles that have helped thousands recover in clinical settings.

Link To This Post
1. Click inside the codebox
2. Right-Click then Copy
3. Paste the HTML code into your webpage
codebox
powered by Linkubaitor

Popularity: 6% [?]

No comments »

Posted in Facilitating Success, Inspiring Action

Tags:

Sexual Addiction Recovery

January 12th, 2010 by Joseph No comments »

Recovery from any addiction is a liberating process. As one reaches past the point they thought they could an onto a life of sobriety one day at a time it’s like a caterpillar breaking free of its cocoon and coming forth not as the same old caterpillar, but now as a beautiful butterfly with wings to fly. Such is the vision for anyone in sexual addiction recovery.

Were it possible for one chained to compulsivity to addictive behavior to see what they could be free from the addiction they would be much more ready and able to walk forth into the light of freedom. In fact, it IS possible! And, it’s essential.

Many times in the course of trying to change people make the grave mistake of narrowly focusing on the problem rather than the solution. Have you ever tried to drive straight on the freeway while looking in your rear-view mirror or over either shoulder? No, well let me assure you that looking straight ahead is the only direction that will keep you heading towards your destination in the safest fashion.

To establish a vision of what a vision of what life would be like with out your sexual addiction it’s often helpful to start with an honest evaluation of where you are at present. Distasteful through it may be, knowing the truth puts you in a place to know what you need to do to get you to where you want to go.

Next, picture in your mind what you want your life to be like. What’s it look like when you face your urges and are in control rather than letting them control you what’s your relationship with God look like? With yourself? With your family and friends?

This vision is a fluid thing that’s going to evolve over time as you think of new and beautiful ways to live your life. Take some time each day to picture this good and light picture of you. As you imagine it give it life with tastes, touch, smells, color, etc. Make it vivid! You can also use this vision when faced with urges. It will help you keep the big picture. Also pay attention during your daily visioning sessions you’ll be prompted to do certain things. Take note of them and act upon them. Over time you’ll cultivate an inner voice that hears the divine as you grow into the vision you’ve brought into your life.

To learn more about your addicted brain and receive sex addiction help that has helped thousands in clinical settings sign up for the free mini-course to the right.

Link To This Post
1. Click inside the codebox
2. Right-Click then Copy
3. Paste the HTML code into your webpage
codebox
powered by Linkubaitor

Popularity: 5% [?]

No comments »

Posted in Instilling Hope

Tags:

Sex Addiction Help

January 11th, 2010 by Joseph No comments »

In the wake of an ever increasingly sexualized mass media many are finding that the presented images of “free love” or sex without attachment are powerfully deceptive, a destroyer in disguise.

Because in each one of us lays a sacred and strong sex drive, we often fall prey to the reckless philosophy of “do what feels good” or “eat, drink and be merry.” However, these age old body worship practices are just as devastating as they were back then when they were thought up. For you see, all action carries consequences and many without even realizing this fully are now finding they need sex addiction help.

If you or someone you love are in this place of frustration know that you are not alone. There are many who can help and many that have once again gained control of their passions that they lift and serve rather than bleach and burn.

Several things can help you come to a place where you’re prepared to overcome your sex addiction. No one breaks free until they decide to and decision without determination and action is empty. So let’s get you ready to succeed!

First, in the course of your addiction you may have come to believe that you’re stupid, dumb, a loser, a pervert, a lost cause, a sicko or any other number of falsehoods. Remember, you were a son or daughter of God before you were an “addict.” You were put here for a specific purpose and that purpose included amongst other things to overcome all challenges put before you. Remember that God only asks of us what he’s willing to provide. He’ll make a way and this because you are divine and have infinite worth and potential.

Second, you may have also come to believe that you are alone. This reminds me of Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix. If you, as Harry did, start to believe that you’re all alone, it will be much easier for the “Dark Lord” to destroy you. There are three important ways that you’re never alone: 1. You’re not the only ones who know how we feel. 2. You are not the only one affect by your sexual addiction. And 3. You’re not alone in having to climb out of the hole you’re in. We all need others!

Third, you may through countless broken personal promises, have concluded that you’re not able to break free. While addictions break down our capacity to change, it’s not true that we have no choice. You always have a choice! Even if those choices and actions are small at first, as we make consistent effort over time we’ll regain our ability and confidence to act according to our innermost values.

If you’re addicted to sex or sexual behavior, use these tips to prepare you to receive help from professionals. Another powerful way to break the chains of addiction is to learn about addiction in the brain.

Sign up at the right for a free mini-course that teaches you principles that have helped thousands find the sex and porn addiction help they need to triumph over their sex addictions.

Link To This Post
1. Click inside the codebox
2. Right-Click then Copy
3. Paste the HTML code into your webpage
codebox
powered by Linkubaitor

Popularity: 5% [?]

No comments »

Posted in Shedding Light On

Tags:

Porn Addiction Help

January 10th, 2010 by Joseph No comments »

Have you ever felt so down, so clouded by darkness, so broken, so low on self-esteem or so hopeless that you felt trapped, chained, stuck or bound? This is how it can feel at times for those who struggle with a porn addiction. If you or someone you know needs help in overcoming a porn addiction, you’ve come to the right place.

When someone first looks at pornography the thought that immediately precedes the session typically isn’t, “I really hope this one time is enough to get me hooked!” however, this is often all it takes. What once began with curiosity quickly turns into obsession, then with repetition the desire grows until the desire becomes insatiable. As tolerance grows one looks at more and different kinds of pornography to get the same high and can even lead to the desire to act out what is being seen. Danger to self, others and even criminality may be the outcome of what began as an innocent curiosity.

I personally know the pain that occurs in this trap of pornography and have had many friends lose loved ones to the selfish cycle, destroying families and marring character and self-esteem. If you’re trapped in an addiction to porn let me give you three ways to begin now to break free.

1. Get Honest. If you never admit to yourself the true nature of where your addiction has brought you, you’ll never be successful at recovery and full healing. Admit also to yourself the person you really know you are and can be. Let the heavens guide your impressions about yourself. You are powerful and of infinite worth!

2. Get Real. Addictions are almost never stopped alone. You need others. So once you’ve admitted the nature of your addiction and where you want to go, admit it to someone you can trust: a family member, clergyman, a professional counselor or all the above. This breaks a strong chain the addiction has over you.

3. Get Cookin’. Your addiction will not go away with time. You don’t just grow out of it. If it’s a real addiction it will get worse unless you do something about it. It will become easier as you admit to yourself, to God and to others. You’ll then need to take the necessary steps of learning about your patters, what you need to do to curb it and how to clean up any messes that you made as a result of it.

Porn addiction help is available. You can be free from these chains and you can be free sooner than later. Choose today to get started. That’s all it takes to begin, a choice. Fill in the form to the right for a powerfully free e-course that is helping thousands overcome compulsive sex, pornography addiction and masturbation.

Link To This Post
1. Click inside the codebox
2. Right-Click then Copy
3. Paste the HTML code into your webpage
codebox
powered by Linkubaitor

Popularity: 5% [?]

No comments »

Posted in Inspiring Action

Tags:

Compulsive Sex

January 9th, 2010 by Joseph No comments »

Have you or someone you know become “addicted” to sex? Do you find your compulsion so overpowering that it seems insatiable at times? Well you’re not alone. There are many others who struggle just like you. But be aware that many now enjoy happy lives free from this frustration and there’s hope for you too!

Many reasons could lead to the compulsion to engage in sex or sexual behavior. Abuse ranks among the top reasons. If this is the case in your situation, know that it’s not your fault and that you can obtain a happy and emotionally burden free life. Discuss the proper course of action with a clergyman and/or a professional counselor. They can help you release any unnecessary guilt or shame you may be feeling about your abuse.

Now, if your behavior has moved into you acting out with others, while part of that would have come from your past experiences, you’re going to find it helpful to resolve those issues and feelings so that you don’t continue the cycle of hurt and pain that leads to risky sexual behavior. You can obtain this freedom. Compulsive sexual behavior can be understood and curbed. Again, turning to others for help will most likely be a tough, but necessary step.

Most likely along the way you’ve learned some falsehoods about yourself, about proper and meaningful relationship and about the role of sex in a loving and committed relationship like marriage, so deciding to dedicate yourself to education will be an essential step in gaining mastery over your compulsive urges to have sex. Even within a marriage where sex can have proper context and meaning, compulsivity can lead to damaging the other necessary components of the relationship, like mutual respect, consideration and positive communication.

If you’d like to learn how addictions to sex work in the brain and how to think correctly about sexuality, sign up at the right for a free mini-course. Note: This course addresses pornography & masturbation as well as “sex & love addicts“. If you experience sexual compulsivity it is highly recommended that you seek individual professional help in addiction to signing up for this course.

Link To This Post
1. Click inside the codebox
2. Right-Click then Copy
3. Paste the HTML code into your webpage
codebox
powered by Linkubaitor

Popularity: 5% [?]

No comments »

Posted in Uncategorized

Tags:

Sex & Love Addicts

January 8th, 2010 by Joseph No comments »

In his powerfully profound book Human Intimacy Victor Brown describes the tendency many have to confuse love an intimacy with sex. While sex is a component of the most sacred and purest intimacy that can be enjoyed by husband and wide, it is definitely not synonymous with love or intimacy.

“Sex addict” is a term used to describe those who have come to find they cannot resist or live without sex. Because there is often a void they are seeking to fill, a loving relationship, the term “love addict” also is used at times. While I disagree with calling people addicts, I do know first had the power of addiction.

When a person becomes trapped by their sexuality, a prison like no other is formed. When someone is addicted to heroin they can go somewhere where there is none and detox. Sexual addictions can be one of the hardest to break because we carry with us at all times the “drug of choice.” All one needs is a moment to fantasize and the chemicals are released into the brain. And when others are involved with the “addict” it becomes a trap that deadens and destroys relationships.

“Bridle your passions that you may be filled with love,” is a wise statement on so many levels. Imagine your passion and drive for sex to be a horse. Which scenario delivers the freedom you desire – A bucking bronco with the rope tied at his groin or the tamed and broken stallion with the rope attached to a harness, giving you direction and control of his movements?

Are you or someone you know addicted to sex? You’re not alone. Wherever you find people you’ll find others trying to exploit those base desires. But you always have a choice and can overcome if you you’ve found yourself addicted to sex or love. There IS hope! Many others have found themselves addicted and have also found their way out. You can too!

Sign up to the right for a free mini-course to learn more about how the brain experiences addiction and what how you can use it for breaking your pornography addiction.

Link To This Post
1. Click inside the codebox
2. Right-Click then Copy
3. Paste the HTML code into your webpage
codebox
powered by Linkubaitor

Popularity: 5% [?]

No comments »

Posted in Shedding Light On

Tags:

Breaking Pornography Addiction

January 7th, 2010 by Joseph No comments »

Three powerful keys to breaking a pornography addiction are:

1) Developing a relationship with the divine
2) Having a clear vision of what your life will be like without the addiction
3) Using your ability to choose and act to carry yourself towards that inspired picture of freedom

With these three keys anyone can open the door to freedom and break free from an addiction to porn.

Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I have been addicted to pornography for well over 10 years and I have struggled as if against a tornado to break free. I have made countless promises to myself, my God and to others that I would stop, all of which to this point have been to no avail. I’ve been depressed and hopeless, faithless and apathetic. However, I now have begun to see the light at the end of a very long and very dark tunnel. For whatever reason I kept trying despite my skinned knees and badly bruised self-esteem.

The three keys I listed above may appear trite, but let me attempt to open up their power so you can gain the vision and hope that I have begun to gain on my own journey.

1) Cultivating a relationship with the divine. No, I’m not talking about some mystical, ominous entity that can’t be known or understood. I’m talking about a Father in Heaven that knows all, has all power, deals justly with all his children (you and me), has ample desire to extend mercy to us as much as we will allow him to, and loves us so much that he doesn’t force us to do anything. He, perhaps against what many have been taught, desires to bless rather than punish us. Because of his vision of our great worth and potential we can spend quiet moments each day to ask and learn from Him what those are. We can even come to understand our specific purpose for being here. Try it out and you’ll be surprises. Talk to Him like you would your best friend, openly and honestly. Consistency is a key here as with anything. This leads us to the second key.

2) Developing a vision, a clear picture of where you are going and what your life looks like free from the chains of pornography addiction. This picture, this vivid image will have the powerful to pull you through the dark times to a place of light, hope and joy. You can spend time each day illuminating your mind with these heavenly visions and feelings. They will prepare you to face the strong urges you’ve felt with your addiction.

3) Your connection to heaven and your vision of a perfect self will teach you thin you must do to move towards it, steps to take to progress on you path. When these impressions or thoughts come, write them down. Imagine a powerful and courageous you doing these things, then go out and do them. As you exercise your ability to act you will get more impressions and acting will become easier as you gain confidence in He who is leading you. Your connection to God will become stronger and your vision more clear and more certain.

Follow these three keys as you’re overcoming your porn addiction and you will find great success. For more ideas on breaking a pornography addiction sign up to the right for a free mini-course with principles that have helped thousands break free!

Link To This Post
1. Click inside the codebox
2. Right-Click then Copy
3. Paste the HTML code into your webpage
codebox
powered by Linkubaitor

Popularity: 5% [?]

No comments »

Posted in Inspiring Action

Tags:

Overcoming a Porn Addiction

January 6th, 2010 by Joseph No comments »

To those of you are working on overcoming a porn addiction I offer you my deepest sympathies. It’s been said that the porn industry produces more revenue in the US in 2003 that the “combined revenues of all professional football, baseball and basketball franchises or the combined revenues of ABC, CBS & NBC.” (Internet Porn Statistics: 2003). None doubt that those numbers have grown since. When such profits are to be gained to they would and often do trample anyone to get it as is expressed by the ambivalence of several in the industry who were interviewed on Traffic Control: The People’s War on Internet Porn.

None who get involved in porn in any way fail to come out a victim. It is a disease that is paraded around so casually in much of the media. It is a core tenant of many marketers that “sex sells.” So with all that standing against us how can one overcoming a porn addiction stand a chance? Is there any way out?

Let me reassure you that there is hope! Thousands just like you have struggled to gain freedom and have triumphed. You are not alone and trusting others with your secret is perhaps one of the greatest steps you will make in your journey to overcome the snares of pornography.

To begin, let me borrow a few tenants from the time tested 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Six of the twelve steps involve turning over to God the addiction that has become unmanageable. What does this mean? Well, practically speaking it involves:

1) Admitting that nothing’s impossible with God.
2) Making a decision to turn your life over to God.
3) Admitting to him the exact nature of the wrongs you’ve been involved in.
4) Become entirely ready to have Him remove all of your defects of character.
5) Asking him to do so,
6) Improve your relationship with Him through prayer and meditation, seeking His will alone and power to carry it out.

The rest of the steps, in truth the above steps as well, all deal with the relationship we have with ourselves and others. These three relationships are so interconnected that when we affect change in one, we affect change in all.

We are never alone in our lives, least of all when we struggle with powerful urges that seem to have no other resolution that acting upon them. The way our brains work, the more we do something, the easier it becomes. Our brains seek to make like easy for us; however, when pornography gets involved an additional layer of strength is added that can very easily form an addiction because of the chemicals released during viewing.

You can and will overcome your porn addiction if you want to. Remember, you always have a choice. Make the best of it by learning today more about how you can harness the great ability already inside of you for breaking a porn addiction. Fill out the form to the right for a free mini-course.

Link To This Post
1. Click inside the codebox
2. Right-Click then Copy
3. Paste the HTML code into your webpage
codebox
powered by Linkubaitor

Popularity: 5% [?]

No comments »

Posted in Shedding Light On

Tags: