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Sexual Sin – Not the Problem, But A Symptom

February 12th, 2010

Announcement: Hey all! I'm currently writing a book and am looking for success stories. If you or anyone know you know has one, please send me an email and we'll use it to help others out of the darkness of pornography!

John Piper talks about sexual sin and what’s at the root, a lack of connection with God. It’s a symptom of the disease, not the disease.

Thousands are walking away from their dreams that can impact others in a positive nature because of the effects of their failed attempts at sexuality.

Guilt and a sense of unworthiness bleeds down into a sense of spiritual powerlessness, of carnal security and strip us of our amazing dreams and we settle for middle class happiness.

Theology, with passion for Jesus can conquer biology.

Beautifully said.

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Sex Addiction Help

January 11th, 2010

In the wake of an ever increasingly sexualized mass media many are finding that the presented images of “free love” or sex without attachment are powerfully deceptive, a destroyer in disguise.

Because in each one of us lays a sacred and strong sex drive, we often fall prey to the reckless philosophy of “do what feels good” or “eat, drink and be merry.” However, these age old body worship practices are just as devastating as they were back then when they were thought up. For you see, all action carries consequences and many without even realizing this fully are now finding they need sex addiction help.

If you or someone you love are in this place of frustration know that you are not alone. There are many who can help and many that have once again gained control of their passions that they lift and serve rather than bleach and burn.

Several things can help you come to a place where you’re prepared to overcome your sex addiction. No one breaks free until they decide to and decision without determination and action is empty. So let’s get you ready to succeed!

First, in the course of your addiction you may have come to believe that you’re stupid, dumb, a loser, a pervert, a lost cause, a sicko or any other number of falsehoods. Remember, you were a son or daughter of God before you were an “addict.” You were put here for a specific purpose and that purpose included amongst other things to overcome all challenges put before you. Remember that God only asks of us what he’s willing to provide. He’ll make a way and this because you are divine and have infinite worth and potential.

Second, you may have also come to believe that you are alone. This reminds me of Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix. If you, as Harry did, start to believe that you’re all alone, it will be much easier for the “Dark Lord” to destroy you. There are three important ways that you’re never alone: 1. You’re not the only ones who know how we feel. 2. You are not the only one affect by your sexual addiction. And 3. You’re not alone in having to climb out of the hole you’re in. We all need others!

Third, you may through countless broken personal promises, have concluded that you’re not able to break free. While addictions break down our capacity to change, it’s not true that we have no choice. You always have a choice! Even if those choices and actions are small at first, as we make consistent effort over time we’ll regain our ability and confidence to act according to our innermost values.

If you’re addicted to sex or sexual behavior, use these tips to prepare you to receive help from professionals. Another powerful way to break the chains of addiction is to learn about addiction in the brain.

Sign up at the right for a free mini-course that teaches you principles that have helped thousands find the sex and porn addiction help they need to triumph over their sex addictions.

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Sex & Love Addicts

January 8th, 2010

In his powerfully profound book Human Intimacy Victor Brown describes the tendency many have to confuse love an intimacy with sex. While sex is a component of the most sacred and purest intimacy that can be enjoyed by husband and wide, it is definitely not synonymous with love or intimacy.

“Sex addict” is a term used to describe those who have come to find they cannot resist or live without sex. Because there is often a void they are seeking to fill, a loving relationship, the term “love addict” also is used at times. While I disagree with calling people addicts, I do know first had the power of addiction.

When a person becomes trapped by their sexuality, a prison like no other is formed. When someone is addicted to heroin they can go somewhere where there is none and detox. Sexual addictions can be one of the hardest to break because we carry with us at all times the “drug of choice.” All one needs is a moment to fantasize and the chemicals are released into the brain. And when others are involved with the “addict” it becomes a trap that deadens and destroys relationships.

“Bridle your passions that you may be filled with love,” is a wise statement on so many levels. Imagine your passion and drive for sex to be a horse. Which scenario delivers the freedom you desire – A bucking bronco with the rope tied at his groin or the tamed and broken stallion with the rope attached to a harness, giving you direction and control of his movements?

Are you or someone you know addicted to sex? You’re not alone. Wherever you find people you’ll find others trying to exploit those base desires. But you always have a choice and can overcome if you you’ve found yourself addicted to sex or love. There IS hope! Many others have found themselves addicted and have also found their way out. You can too!

Sign up to the right for a free mini-course to learn more about how the brain experiences addiction and what how you can use it for breaking your pornography addiction.

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Overcoming a Porn Addiction

January 6th, 2010

To those of you are working on overcoming a porn addiction I offer you my deepest sympathies. It’s been said that the porn industry produces more revenue in the US in 2003 that the “combined revenues of all professional football, baseball and basketball franchises or the combined revenues of ABC, CBS & NBC.” (Internet Porn Statistics: 2003). None doubt that those numbers have grown since. When such profits are to be gained to they would and often do trample anyone to get it as is expressed by the ambivalence of several in the industry who were interviewed on Traffic Control: The People’s War on Internet Porn.

None who get involved in porn in any way fail to come out a victim. It is a disease that is paraded around so casually in much of the media. It is a core tenant of many marketers that “sex sells.” So with all that standing against us how can one overcoming a porn addiction stand a chance? Is there any way out?

Let me reassure you that there is hope! Thousands just like you have struggled to gain freedom and have triumphed. You are not alone and trusting others with your secret is perhaps one of the greatest steps you will make in your journey to overcome the snares of pornography.

To begin, let me borrow a few tenants from the time tested 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Six of the twelve steps involve turning over to God the addiction that has become unmanageable. What does this mean? Well, practically speaking it involves:

1) Admitting that nothing’s impossible with God.
2) Making a decision to turn your life over to God.
3) Admitting to him the exact nature of the wrongs you’ve been involved in.
4) Become entirely ready to have Him remove all of your defects of character.
5) Asking him to do so,
6) Improve your relationship with Him through prayer and meditation, seeking His will alone and power to carry it out.

The rest of the steps, in truth the above steps as well, all deal with the relationship we have with ourselves and others. These three relationships are so interconnected that when we affect change in one, we affect change in all.

We are never alone in our lives, least of all when we struggle with powerful urges that seem to have no other resolution that acting upon them. The way our brains work, the more we do something, the easier it becomes. Our brains seek to make like easy for us; however, when pornography gets involved an additional layer of strength is added that can very easily form an addiction because of the chemicals released during viewing.

You can and will overcome your porn addiction if you want to. Remember, you always have a choice. Make the best of it by learning today more about how you can harness the great ability already inside of you for breaking a porn addiction. Fill out the form to the right for a free mini-course.

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Sexual Addicts

January 4th, 2010

Addiction is a well understood phenomenon and these days with our growing capacity to look inside the human genetic structure and brain, that knowledge is ever increasing. Sexual addiction is sometimes not seen as a real addiction and occasionally it’s called a compulsion rather that an addiction, but sexual “addicts” know that despite their efforts to curb their undesirable behaviors, they’re trapped.

Sexuality is at the very core of our identity. It’s part of our very nature and like other addictions, addiction to sex or other sexual behavior can cause immense suffering, frustration and even very real danger.

While addictions to sex and sexual behavior exists it’s often very helpful for the one struggling to not classify themselves as “addicts,” but rather as capable and competent people who have become addicted. You will always he a being of light and great worth. You won’t always have an addiction, so learn now not to label yourself as an addict. It’s a struggle, not who you are. You can change. There is hope. Grab hold of it!

Now because there are all kinds of sexual behavior that one can engage in and subsequently find oneself trapped, it is not my intention to get into each one, but rather to touch on some of the beliefs that are common to them all.

Beliefs are our perception, views, attitudes and they color the way we see the world. Along the way those with a sexual addiction have come to adapt false and harmful beliefs. A good recovery program will help one sort out these and allow for adoption of healthy ones. Here are a few of the beliefs that can hinder healing:

1. “I’m all alone.” No, you’re not. There are people who understand what you’re going through and people that are eager to help.

2. “I’m not addicted.” Whether this is true or not ask yourself the questions, “am I happy? Am I getting the most out my life?” You may see your behavior in a very new light when evaluated in the context of your life goals.

3. “I‘m not hurting anyone.” As humans we need others. If you’re behavior is solitary you are building a wall between you and a real connection with other others. If your behavior is with others then you are jeopardizing your potential for a full and powerful relationship that one who builds unevenly upon sexual relations cannot ever achieve.

If you have thought any of these things please take a moment to fill your name and email in the form to the right for a free mini-course on understanding your sexual addiction and how to escape the misconception of being a sexual addict.

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Addicted to Internet Porn

December 28th, 2009

Being addicted to internet porn is no different that being addicted to other porn, accept it’s potential to bring about addiction is greater. With other types of pornography there are built in restraints. With a video from a store there is the barrier of being seen by others. With the anonymity of the internet this restraint and desire to keep secret the use is drastically reduced. One can access pornography on the internet without anyone ever knowing.

Another addictive quality of internet porn is that it’s relatively instant. Within seconds one can access any kind of porn imaginable filling the mind with all sorts of misinformation about relationships.

Thirdly, on need not spend any money to see thousands upon thousands of images and engage in hours of stimulation cementing addiction further each moment. Addiction these days is very affordable.

Lastly, one could also access porn anywhere in the world as long as they have an internet connection. It’s definitely more easily available than having to drive to the edge of town to get a video or magazine.

With all these aspects of internet pornography that haven’t ever applied to porn, addicts are growing at an increasing rate. There are also more psychologists to be found now that see patients addicted to porn than ever before. Whereas there once was a time when one may never have come in contact with porn there are now many who stumble upon it without ever looking and our of curiosity become trapped into the vicious cycles of addiction.

There is however hope for those seeking to be free from any compulsive behavior associated with internet porn. If you are addicted, know that you’re not alone and that many have curbed their addictions. Don’t feel ashamed. Addiction is a well understood phenomenon and you can take action necessary to stand up tall as one that connects in healthy ways with others, finds true peace and satisfaction in life and accomplishes great things.

Take action now and learn more about your addiction by filling in your name and email below for a free mini-course on how to break porn addiction.

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Break Porn Addiction

December 28th, 2009

Breaking any habit can be tough, not to mention one that is reinforced with strong chemical bond in the brain. This is exactly what a porn addiction is, a powerful bond formed in the brain to the experience of pornography viewing, reinforced greatly by the presence of masturbation.

Pornography addiction is a drug addiction. Mark Kastleman in his book The Drug of the New Millennium identifies the chemical released during a session of pornography and self-stimulation. These chemicals are the same as the ones present during a loving sexual interaction between husband and wife. The problem is that when these chemicals are released during porn viewing it leads to a powerful bond with the fake relationship instead of a real one with a partner. One comes to give anything for an image instead of their beloved companion.

While addictions are hard to break, it can be done! You can break your porn addiction. Many feel trapped and hopeless, like they are unique in some way that excludes them from the joy to be felt in life when emotional and other challenges are faced head on and dealt with productively rather than turning to at “drug of choice.”

Along with this understanding it’s also important to know that through learning correct principles, through applying them and through doing it on a consistent basis one ca break even the powerful bonds of a porn addiction.

The sex drive that’s been placed in each one of us is a precious gift that can unite a man and wife and allow for natural growth that surpasses any attempt at self-gratification through masturbation and pornography

To break free from the darkness of pornography you’re going to need a little light to illuminate the path. Truth is this way to freedom. Learning the truth of your addiction will brighten your hope and give you the courage needed to succeed. As you act on the truth you find you’ll slowly gain a character that will be able to stand up to the temptations you have to engage in pornography.

Check out the mini-course at the right to check out some powerful information that’s helped thousands who are addicted to masturbation, pornography and other sexual behaviors.

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Cure Porn Addiction

December 24th, 2009

The question may be asked of many ailments that plague mankind: Can it be cured? Meaning, can I get rid of the pain and live normally again? While many only treat the symptoms there is real hope when the question is asked by those suffering with a porn addiction. YES! You CAN cure porn addiction.

Belief System

Porn addiction, like many other problems is rooted in the mind. Now that doesn’t mean simply “don’t think about it and it won’t be a problem.” No, what i mean is that the roots of it begin in the brain. Our beliefs are what guide our actions whether we’re conscious of those beliefs or not. Beliefs evaluated can help one uncover the meaning of pornography in their life. Beliefs are important to understand, beliefs of self, of other, of life, of love, of God. Knowing what you believe can put you in a place of knowing what led you to and what is supporting your continued participation in pornography.

Beliefs are a key to understanding your porn addiction; however, for anyone that’s ever indulged in pornography viewing there’s an added element, biological control. The brain is most definitely affected by the beliefs we espouse and the thoughts we have, but another layer is added to the mix when we act on those mental constructs.

Biology of Porn

Viewing pornography however is more than just a regular behavior. Chemicals are released in the brain and body that intensify the experience and cement it deeper into our very being than other actions may. This experience gains ever a deeper hold when it is accompanied by masturbation. The greater ever when orgasm is achieved in this process.

These two components are essential to evaluate if your addiction to porn is to be cured. A good counselor can help you evaluate the limiting and destructive beliefs that led you to pornography and can help you to develop new and productive ones that help you gain control over biology of the addiction.

Mental Illness

Another thing to consider if you are addicted to pornography is the existence of any other mental illnesses or addictions. Many clinicians are beginning to note for instance that the existence of ADHD, alcohol addiction and other addictions of ten accompany porn addictions.

Make sure your looking at the whole picture and not simply your challenges with pornography. Treating your whole self will be much more affective in curing your addiction to pornography than simply looking at the porn problem in isolation.

Find a counselor in your area that can help you evaluate the true motive of your addiction and in the meantime get started on understanding your beliefs behind your struggles by filling in the form to the right for free info & powerful podcasts to help you stop porn addiction.

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Conquering Porn Addiction

December 19th, 2009

Are you looking for help in conquering a porn addiction? To you I say that perhaps no wiser words were ever uttered than “seek and ye shall find.”

Are you sincere in your journey to conquer it? Or have you been threatened by a spouse, parent, judge or other? No matter. Either way, as you take courageous steps to learn about your addiction & the harmful effects that pornography is having on you, you will most likely reach a point of awareness that will open your heart wide enough for a dsire to kick the addiction.

If you don’t currently have that desire it’s okay. Desire comes as one considers what he really wants in his life, as he learns the truths necessary to achieve those goals (including how addictions form & how to get rid of them) & as he begins to move towards it.

Now that we’ve established that you’re seeking to conquer your addiction & do or will soon gain the sincere desire to be commited to whatever its gonna take to do so, let’s move on to examining some of the truths about porn that you should know for your journey to be successful.

  1. Pornography NEVER only affects the viewer alone: Porn, in its production, harms in many ways those who are depicted. Abuse, manipulation & deception are often used to get victims to pose. There is also a violent underground sex trade that is fed by the demand for pornography.
  2. Pornography releases the same powerful chemicals in the brain as do many dangerous drugs. It’s been referred to as an erototoxin. It mimics normal & healthy sexual process, but produes quite a different result that does intercourse between husband & wife – it binds the viewer to its degrading images rather that to a real human.
  3. Porn addiction moves forward in a progression. The very nature of addiction leads one to seek greater & greater thrills, causing the one with the addiction to drop their morals, values & even break ties with loved ones in order to continue pursuing the illusory pleasure.

These simple 3 truths about pornography are but the beginning of things to consider if you’re seeking to conquer porn addiction. Overcoming requires a commitment to learning, introspection & positive actions.

Without these one merely starts & stops never truly arriving at their destination. And as I’m sure you may know this can be very frustrating, not to mention exhausting. If you’ve felt this frustration, know there IS hope! You are not alone!

There are paths that those seeking freedom from porn addiction are taking right now to come off conquers. Learn how! Just fill in your name & email at the right for free information, podcasts & professionals & more. There is also help for the “masturbation addict.”

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Sex Addictions

December 2nd, 2009

While sex addictions are not classified as such in the mental health industry’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) they are indeed very real.

Much like an addiction to drugs or alcohol, sex addictions can be very powerful. The true nature of these addictions is only seen when placed against a backdrop of disregarded values, suppressed morals, broken promises & continual frustration.

Whether you choose to call it an addiction, a compulsion or simply an annoying behavior pattern or habit, you have to eventually come to terms with the fact that there are factors at play that make “just stop”ing easier said than done.

Those who have found themselves in the midst of an addiction to sex or to sexual behaviors will surely have passed through many feelings including feelings of worthlessness, doubt, anxiety & frustration.

Promises to self go unkept. Dedication to family & friends wanes. Intimacy with loved ones suffers. All of these effects make traversing through and overcoming an addiction very difficult without help and can often be very discouraging. Hopelessness is a common side effect if someone has been addicted to sexual behavior for a good amount of time.

One common thread that can be woven between those who are frustrated & stuck in their efforts to break free is the thread of secrecy.

To keep one’s deep feelings hidden is to keep one’s self chained to the addiction. Feelings of aloneness then can result in the following several ways: First, the one addicted feels that he or she is the only one struggling with this problem. Second, he or she may feel like their struggle only affects themselves. And third, he or she will often feel that can stop the undesired behavior on their own. (Hindmarsh, Cyber Secrets 2001)

To those who struggle with sex addictions of any kind, let me reassure you now of several things.

1. There IS hope for you in overcoming your addictions to sex. Many have done it & with the right help, so can you!

2. You are NOT alone in this journey. Many are completely willing to help you as you reach out to them and trust them with your struggles.

3. You are NOT broken, stupid or any other derogatory term you may have used in the past to describe yourself. You are divine as you come from a Father in Heaven who love you and who will be your biggest fan on your road to recovery.

If you or someone you know is struggling with sex addictions, please find the courage to speak up & reach out for help. Talk to your religious leader, loved ones and find a doctor who specializes in sexual addictions.

There are some powerful concepts available in this program that will help you reprogram your way of thinking. It is not meant to replace a professional evaluation, but it will supplement any good recovery effort. No price is too hight to pay for your peace of mind and freedom from sex addictions.

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