Archive for the ‘Instilling Hope’ category



Stop Porn Addiction

December 23rd, 2009

Trying to stop a porn addiction? It’s been frustrating hasn’t it? You’ve made promise after promise to yourself and others that you’d never do it again…and yet you did. If you have found your way here I’m extremely pleased and excited for you. Because here is where you’ll find hope, gain confidence and learn the way to stop a porn addiction!

Before I invite you to get some free information and powerful podcasts I will go over a few of the principles I consider to be a necessary foundation for stopping an addiction to pornography.

Principle 1: There is a God and he loves you infinitely. To understand that there is a being who knows where I have been, how I feel and the circumstances of how I got into this place is good, but then also to know that I am his child and thus have infinite potential and capability and strength is amazing! He loves us and thus we may know that any thoughts or feelings that cut us down and tell us we’re no good are not from him.

Principle 2: We have a choice. Many have come to a believe, as I did at times, that having an addiction means that I have no choice in the matter. There is always a choice! Though urges and feelings of acting out most likely have grown stronger by acting on them, we always have a choice. Often when we indulge in porn viewing we have let ourselves believe we have no choice or it’s too strong. Use your agency wisely and your capacity to make proper choices will increase. Abuse that gift by rationalizations and that too will become easier.

Principle 3: There is always hope! Hope isn’t something that ever goes away. While we may turn away and thus not see it, it’s always nearby. Admitting our true situation may be scary, but only by doing so can we assess the scene rightly and lay the foundation to move on.

“When the student is ready the teacher will appear,” says an ancient Chinese proverb. If you’re ready to learn how to break a porn addiction put your name and email in the form to the right for powerful tools and education to make your promises to yourself finally last.

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Overcome Porn Addiction

December 21st, 2009

I speak to those of you who want to overcome a porn addiction. Thank you for coming to my site. I have been struggling for years with an addiction to porn and I have finally decided that I have had enough. It has been a long journey, but I am giving all that I got now and am realizing how necessary personal effort is in overcoming an addiction like this.

Pornography is mesmerizing and our brains are so good at “helping” us to rationalize what is obviously a practice in deception, deception of the model, deception of the sellers, deception in self and society’s acceptance of that which binds many down to a connection with fantasy rather that with real people.

Overcoming porn addiction is a tough battle. There are several obstacles that I’ve come to identify in my own efforts to break free from its tight grasp:

  1. Keep it secret, keep it going. One of the more difficult things to do is to admit to yourself that you have a problem, let alone admitting it to others. However, a powerful chain is broken when you share with others that with which you struggle.
  2. Doubt disables deliverance. Hope is one of the most powerful tools you have in your arsenal. Hope helps you learn from relapses. Hope helps you to see the situation for what it is, temporary. Hope allows you to find joy in the journey, not just the destination. And the best part is, Hope is Real!
  3. If you’re alone, you’re weak. Unfortunately this deception is one of the most common and most terrible lies. First of all, you are NEVER alone! Others can understand what you’re going through. Your behaviors doesn’t just affect yourself, it affects others. And you need others to overcome your porn addiction. Reach out, serve and trust others. You will be amazed at the power you gain from it!
  4. “I’ll grow out of it.” For some reason, this one really got me. I have believed that it is just a phase and that one day I will wake up and not have the need for porn anymore. Unfortunately, this deception leads one to in action and thus no progress is made in healing. You won’t “just grow out of” porn addiction.

Involving others with your recovery is essential. Reach out and take courage. Overcoming your porn addiction is possible. To learn more of the specifics on how addiction affects the brain and how you can break free please leave your name and email in the form to the right. You will get access to powerful free information and learn how to stop porn addiction.

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Masturbation Addict

December 18th, 2009

In the 12 step programs there is a phrase often tossed around that I quite disagree with. The statement is usually something like, “once an addict, always an addict.” While I understand that there’s always a need in everyone’s life to be cautious of falling into dark patterns of behavior, I also know the human brain has an amazing plasticity or ability to change. One should not underestimate the capacity of the human spirit to exert change when it sets its will to do so and for that change to become permanent, a very part of their nature.

With this initial premise in place I wish to talk briefly to those who may consider themselves or be considered by others to be a masturbation addict. Masturbation or self-stimulation is nothing new. Sexual tendencies lie within all of us & they have been exploited in many ways as long as humans have been around.

Quite often those who compulsively masturbate also have incorporated into their belief system false ideas which do them great disservice. These beliefs can lead them to engage in the illusion of intimacy while avoiding the heart of it. While seeing a professional therapist may be appropriate there is much headway one can make on their own to understand & correct those core beliefs.

Each of us has an inner voice that when paid attention to can help us understand great things about ourselves, including the reasons we may have turned to masturbation in the first place.

Even though masturbation is quite common it is not a proper means of expressing the sexual desires we have had placed inside of us by a loving Heavenly Father. Masturbation has been used to condition people to become stimulated by deviant behavior (Human Intimacy, Victor L. Brown). This is one thing that makes masturbation such a problem to those seeking real human intimacy, that deep & meaningful connection with others.

Chemicals released during sexual intercourse help join man & woman together in a committed, loving relationship while masturbation mimics the chemical release but provides not those things that a real relationship can. It also forms a bond to the object of attention.

Pornography addiction for example is a bond often formed by the means of masturbation. A connection to pictures or videos rather than a spouse can lead to wedges driven into what otherwise may have been a beautiful & rewarding relationship.

For the “masturbation addict” it’s important to know first and foremost that you are a child of God with unlimited potential divinely placed inside of you! You have great power to change. There IS hope! Learn to listen to that voice within as you turn your heart to that voice from above. Follow the impressions you get to move towards good, they will not fail you.

Along the way, learning of how your brain can pull you down into an addiction is very important. To begin your journey sign up for the free mini-course to the right that will give you help with porn addiction, masturbation & other sexual behaviors.

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Help with Porn Addiction

December 17th, 2009

Are you or someone you know seeking help with a porn addition? Well, you’ve come to the right place! I too am on the same journey. In my seeking to know more about porn addiction I’ve learned a few vital keys that seem obvious to me now, but weren’t so obvious before I began my quest to break free from porn addiction. I’d like to share a few of those insights with the hope that someone struggling with an addiction to pornography may find them useful & gain a hope of deliverance.

  1. Powerful urges have been placed inside all of us. Were it not so, man & woman may have never joined together, bringing beautiful souls into the world. They we’d not be able to grow to our fullest capacity in complete unity & love. These urges are a gift from a loving Father in Heaven.
  2. The brain has a way to make false sexual encounters, i.e. those with pornography, masturbation, etc seem real. The same chemicals are released during those counterfeit activities as are released during real sexual relations. The real deal has the power to thus bind husband & wife together & again, allow for children to be born into the world.
  3. False beliefs about self can feed into one’s indulgent cycle. I have often felt inferior to others, a discrediting of my abilities & what I “deserve” in life. For a long time I didn’t feel worthy of love from another. This laid a ripe foundation for my involvement with porn and masturbation. Not cool!
  4. My Heavenly Father loves me no matter what! Whatever your religious beliefs it is common to feel disconnected from your spiritual source. This equates into feeling disconnected with others, who are a vital source of strength & help in any pornography recovery and healing. I learned that I am never alone & that my actions affect others always.

I learned this & many more things along my path to freedom from porn addiction. If you or someone you know are aching inside & seeking help with a porn addiction please consider joining me on a powerful journey of transformation that’s been helping thousands. Simply fill in your name & email at the right for some free information that will give you incredible ability to leave behind pornography & find true joy.

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Pornography Recovery

December 16th, 2009

Recovery from pornography addiction can be a tricky endeavor. There are so many voices these days who claim that there is nothing wrong with viewing porn and some psychologists even use it to “enhance marital intimacy.”

While there are so many who justify its use there is a voice inside each one of us which, if listened to, tells us that there is something noble and uplifting about modesty, something virtuous about waiting to give that part of ourselves until the whole self can be given in marriage & something profoundly powerful about sexual purity until that is achieved.

There are powerful mechanisms in the brain that help lock into place the desire to view porn once it has already been viewed. If you’ve found yourself caught in this rut, don’t get down on yourself. Shame most likely will not lead you to overcome this struggle.

While there are ideal sexual conditions, there are many who have stumbled for whatever reason upon the many false portrayals of human intimacy that promise, but can never deliver true joy.

Pornography addiction recovery is possible and is one of the best things that one who’s addicted can do for themselves and for others in their life. There IS hope if you’ve fallen into despair. There IS a reason to break free if you’ve been caught up in the illusion of porn. There is true beauty to be had again & confidence to be restored.

If you or someone you know is seeking freedom from porn addiction there are several directions you could take, but know that each one requires a sincere commitment, even if it just begins as a commitment to simply learn a bit about the addiction & behavior.

Take a deep breath, imagine where you want to be & let that feeling build in you. When you are ready to take the 1st step, sign up at the right for a free mini-course that will help you learn the skills that thousands have now learned and used to successfully overcome pornography & other sexual addictions. You have great strengths, but they’re being used you. Learn how to turn the tables!

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Christian Porn Addiction

December 15th, 2009

Believers in Christ are not exempt from experiencing temptation. As human beings we all experience the natural and wonderfully divine urges that draw man and women close to one another. There is a very beautiful reason for these sexual feelings. They were placed inside of us by a loving Father in Heaven.

As Christians learn at some point, we are all members of a great eternal family and on earth we have the grand opportunity to seek out loving relationships & to bind them in an unique and powerful way through marriage. Within the bonds of marriage we can find the true purpose for those sexual urges within us.

Sometimes Christians are falsely taught that sex is evil and that their bodies are wicked and thus their sexual desires are as well. This is most definitely not true, but if believed can lead to distorted efforts to seek out sexual expression through the means of masturbation, porn & other sexual behaviors that lie outside the limits that their Father in heaven has set.

Expression of this sort is has been forbidden by Him, not for a cruel punishment, but as a loving guideline to prevent the unhappiness that comes from these deceptively pleasing, but utterly selfish expressions of the sexual drive within each one of us.

One of the sad outcomes of engaging in these behaviors can be addiction of an image of intimacy as opposed to the powerfully fulfilling “real thing.” Victor L. Brown in his powerful book Human Intimacy tells how intimacy occurs on many levels & is not equal to mere sexual encounters.

Porn addiction in Christians is truly a sad thing. If you are Christian & have a porn or sex addiction, know first that you are not alone. Many struggle with this temptation & many heal.

Know too that your Father in Heaven ALWAYS loves you and is eager to  hear from you your heartaches & to help you experience true joy, freedom from porn addiction.

Put your name & email in the form on the right to receive a powerful mini-course that helps you understand your addiction & how to harness your natural abilities to escape.

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Sex Addictions

December 2nd, 2009

While sex addictions are not classified as such in the mental health industry’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) they are indeed very real.

Much like an addiction to drugs or alcohol, sex addictions can be very powerful. The true nature of these addictions is only seen when placed against a backdrop of disregarded values, suppressed morals, broken promises & continual frustration.

Whether you choose to call it an addiction, a compulsion or simply an annoying behavior pattern or habit, you have to eventually come to terms with the fact that there are factors at play that make “just stop”ing easier said than done.

Those who have found themselves in the midst of an addiction to sex or to sexual behaviors will surely have passed through many feelings including feelings of worthlessness, doubt, anxiety & frustration.

Promises to self go unkept. Dedication to family & friends wanes. Intimacy with loved ones suffers. All of these effects make traversing through and overcoming an addiction very difficult without help and can often be very discouraging. Hopelessness is a common side effect if someone has been addicted to sexual behavior for a good amount of time.

One common thread that can be woven between those who are frustrated & stuck in their efforts to break free is the thread of secrecy.

To keep one’s deep feelings hidden is to keep one’s self chained to the addiction. Feelings of aloneness then can result in the following several ways: First, the one addicted feels that he or she is the only one struggling with this problem. Second, he or she may feel like their struggle only affects themselves. And third, he or she will often feel that can stop the undesired behavior on their own. (Hindmarsh, Cyber Secrets 2001)

To those who struggle with sex addictions of any kind, let me reassure you now of several things.

1. There IS hope for you in overcoming your addictions to sex. Many have done it & with the right help, so can you!

2. You are NOT alone in this journey. Many are completely willing to help you as you reach out to them and trust them with your struggles.

3. You are NOT broken, stupid or any other derogatory term you may have used in the past to describe yourself. You are divine as you come from a Father in Heaven who love you and who will be your biggest fan on your road to recovery.

If you or someone you know is struggling with sex addictions, please find the courage to speak up & reach out for help. Talk to your religious leader, loved ones and find a doctor who specializes in sexual addictions.

There are some powerful concepts available in this program that will help you reprogram your way of thinking. It is not meant to replace a professional evaluation, but it will supplement any good recovery effort. No price is too hight to pay for your peace of mind and freedom from sex addictions.

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My Freedom Journey

September 12th, 2009

Journaling is a powerful tool through which I acknowledge divine power at work. It has the power to maintain my momentum, sharpen my focus & keep me motivated. Truth often speaks so softly that we need moments of reflection to capture it before we can incorporate it.

I’ve decided to keep a fairly regular (as close to daily as I can) log of my journey from sexual addiction to freedom. I want it to be clear to myself and to anyone who ever asks, “how did you do it?!” that it was my Savior that reached into my life in small and simple ways to work great and marvelous changes in my life.

After continued evaluation and re-evaluation I’ve come up with 4 areas that really energize & motivate me. When I journal I will be asking myself the following questions as I daily strive for personal freedom from addiction.

My Journey of Freedom’s Focus Questions:

How did I see the Lord’s power to change in my life today while I…

1. …thoughtfully gave of myself to my brothers and sisters?
2. …gratefully remembered his mercy and grace?
3. …was learning about my addiction?
4. …courageously chose the right?

In this journal I hope to shed light on the truths of pornography use, to instill hope in those that are caught in the darkness of addiction, to inspire action and to help facilitate the success that will come to all those who wish it.

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Frodo’s Fight for Freedom

August 18th, 2009

So I’ve hesitated for quite some time now to begin wrriting my 1st post here. I guess it stems from my tendency to have things “just right.” It’s like owning a new journal or book and making your first mark upon it’s bare pages. Well, it’s time to jump in & start swimming. To begin with, I’d like to state my purpose for creating this site. I have an addiction. I’ve been caught in a web of pornography & sexual addiction for some 20 years; and I’m not talking about the kind of cobwebs you sweep easily out of the corner of your room with a rag or broom. I’m talking about the large, incredibily sticky, “WATCH OUT FRODO!” kind of web.

To continue with the Lord of the Rings visual, I’ve often felt like that little hobbit entering the giant spider Shelob’s lair – alone in an uninviting, dangerous cave. I too have at times sent my true friends away, thinking that I could handle things on my own, only to learn that the one I chose to trust was leading me right into a trap. I’ve also at times remembered the light of Eärendil, the “light…in dark places, when all other lights go out.” But as dangerous as it was and because my heart had become filled fear I too have let go of the light and found myself intoxicated by the enemy’s venum & bound by her sticky cords. At times I’ve felt quite like that mission-bound hobbit hedged on my journey, wrapped in the spider’s silken strings awaiting, not victory, but defeat as the poison slowly works its course within me.

I’ve felt the sting of regret, the draining power of poor choice & the despair of hopelessness. However, the reason I write to you today is to stand as a very real witness to the hope there is in the Light. We may at times let fear overcome us and loose sight of this brilliant power as did Froto convincing ourselves that there is no escape, no hope and no reason to go on, but we’d be doing ourselves a great diservice to internalize this dismal message. There are those who love us and who would bring back the Light that we let go of. We’ll always need to fight if we are to obtain any sort fo freedom. There is ALWAYS hope!

This blog is my journey of hope to obtain freedom from pornography addiction & the accompanying baggage that follows such an addiction. I do not consider myself an addict, but rather a child of divine parentage who has fallen into one of the many traps that a very real enemy lays to ensnare each of us in our journey towards the Light.

It is my firm belief that we are all children of a loving Father and that he’s sent his Son, Jesus Christ to, in some incredible way, provide us the power necessary to change our behavior and free ourselves from all types of addiction, I wish to invite everyone, regardless of beliefs or faith, to join me in an enlightening journey of hope.

My goal with this blog is to shed light on the true nature of pornography use and the many lies that are told to bring its viewers into bondage. This investigation will include words from prophets of God as well as understandings from modern science about the nature of addiction. It is also my intent to instill hope in my own heart and in the hearts of all those who wander in the darkness of pornography. I desire to inspire action and encourage committment to truth and will do this with stories, music, assignments and with other moving means. Lastly, I want to facilitate successful freedom from porn addiction and other sexual addiction by providing resources and tools that truly make sense, that help utilize hope and committment to change.

I feel love in my heart for all those who struggle as I do. I pray that if you are struggling that you would open your heart to the possibility of a life filled with light and love as you sincerely seek to gain your own personal freedom from addiction. You CAN learn to be in control of your thoughts, feelings and behaviors just as you can learn to play the piano or speak German. :)

Glory to God

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