1. Exercise your body: giving blood to your brain is a good thing. Find an exercise you like to do, at your level that breaks a sweat at least 3-5 times a week. Body and mind are very connected.

2. Read good books: getting lost in an uplifting, enjoyable novel or self-help book can be a change from the same old thing.

3. Do a kind act for someone once a day: Porn sucks one into a world of selfishness. Without taking thought consciously for others you’ll risk a pitfall into loneliness or depression.

4. Hit your knees and take up prayer: to open yourself up spiritually to a higher power and the pure intelligence that can come from such a connection is at the heart of any recovery.

5. Be industrious: it’s different for everyone, but make sure your time is filled with work that benefits others, energizes you keeper idleness from flooding you with all kinds of temptations and urges.

6. Consider an internet break: a little fast can help you gain perspective and if this is where your problem is will give your some sobriety and time to think about your recovery.

7. Drop the hard music and grab a classical CD or two. Peaceful music has been shown to calm the body and ease stress and merry.

8. Meditation: Breath in and out. Learn to relax man, you’re too uptight!

9. Daily Structure: This can help you get in positive routines that can keep you out of trouble.

10. Positive imaging: Call it visualizing, imaging or whatever else you want, but spending time daily to bring good feelings and pictures into our minds charges us with ability and confidence that leads to better tackling of challenges.

You may feel the need to do all of these. If you’re good at beating yourself up when you don’t do something and you’re know to take on too much at once, pick one to start with. Do it daily for a week, then as you feel good about it, move on to another.

To learn more about sexual addiction recovery sign up below for a free mini-course that teaches principles that have helped thousands recover in clinical settings.

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When someone first looks at pornography the thought that immediately precedes the session typically isn’t, “I really hope this one time is enough to get me hooked!” however, this is often all it takes. What once began with curiosity quickly turns into obsession, then with repetition the desire grows until the desire becomes insatiable. As tolerance grows one looks at more and different kinds of pornography to get the same high and can even lead to the desire to act out what is being seen. Danger to self, others and even criminality may be the outcome of what began as an innocent curiosity.

I personally know the pain that occurs in this trap of pornography and have had many friends lose loved ones to the selfish cycle, destroying families and marring character and self-esteem. If you’re trapped in an addiction to porn let me give you three ways to begin now to break free.

1. Get Honest. If you never admit to yourself the true nature of where your addiction has brought you, you’ll never be successful at recovery and full healing. Admit also to yourself the person you really know you are and can be. Let the heavens guide your impressions about yourself. You are powerful and of infinite worth!

2. Get Real. Addictions are almost never stopped alone. You need others. So once you’ve admitted the nature of your addiction and where you want to go, admit it to someone you can trust: a family member, clergyman, a professional counselor or all the above. This breaks a strong chain the addiction has over you.

3. Get Cookin’. Your addiction will not go away with time. You don’t just grow out of it. If it’s a real addiction it will get worse unless you do something about it. It will become easier as you admit to yourself, to God and to others. You’ll then need to take the necessary steps of learning about your patterns, what you need to do to curb it and how to clean up any messes that you made as a result of it.

Porn addiction help is available. You can be free from these chains and you can be free sooner than later. Choose today to get started. That’s all it takes to begin, a choice. Fill in the form to the right for a powerfully free e-course that is helping thousands overcome compulsive sex, pornography addiction and masturbation.

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1) Developing a relationship with the divine
2) Having a clear vision of what your life will be like without the addiction
3) Using your ability to choose and act to carry yourself towards that inspired picture of freedom

With these three keys anyone can open the door to freedom and break free from an addiction to porn.

Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I have been addicted to pornography for well over 10 years and I have struggled as if against a tornado to break free. I have made countless promises to myself, my God and to others that I would stop, all of which to this point have been to no avail. I’ve been depressed and hopeless, faithless and apathetic. However, I now have begun to see the light at the end of a very long and very dark tunnel. For whatever reason I kept trying despite my skinned knees and badly bruised self-esteem.

The three keys I listed above may appear trite, but let me attempt to open up their power so you can gain the vision and hope that I have begun to gain on my own journey.

1) Cultivating a relationship with the divine. No, I’m not talking about some mystical, ominous entity that can’t be known or understood. I’m talking about a Father in Heaven that knows all, has all power, deals justly with all his children (you and me), has ample desire to extend mercy to us as much as we will allow him to, and loves us so much that he doesn’t force us to do anything. He, perhaps against what many have been taught, desires to bless rather than punish us. Because of his vision of our great worth and potential we can spend quiet moments each day to ask and learn from Him what those are. We can even come to understand our specific purpose for being here. Try it out and you’ll be surprises. Talk to Him like you would your best friend, openly and honestly. Consistency is a key here as with anything. This leads us to the second key.

2) Developing a vision, a clear picture of where you are going and what your life looks like free from the chains of pornography addiction. This picture, this vivid image will have the powerful to pull you through the dark times to a place of light, hope and joy. You can spend time each day illuminating your mind with these heavenly visions and feelings. They will prepare you to face the strong urges you’ve felt with your addiction.

3) Your connection to heaven and your vision of a perfect self will teach you thin you must do to move towards it, steps to take to progress on you path. When these impressions or thoughts come, write them down. Imagine a powerful and courageous you doing these things, then go out and do them. As you exercise your ability to act you will get more impressions and acting will become easier as you gain confidence in He who is leading you. Your connection to God will become stronger and your vision more clear and more certain.

Follow these three keys as you’re overcoming your porn addiction and you will find great success. For more ideas on breaking a pornography addiction sign up to the right for a free mini-course with principles that have helped thousands break free!

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In their book entitled “Willpower is Not Enough,” A. Dean Byrd & Mark Chamberlain explain that one reason we don’t succeed at change despite our continued efforts is that we think we need to force ourselves to refrain, an act of the mind. They explain beautifully that by accessing the power of the heart, by learning to channel our desires, emotions and needs properly we can avoid the daunting waves that can and will sweep over us before they destroy us.

We must know, if we quietly assess the situation, that we are much more capable than we’ve been giving ourselves credit for. We all have value outside our actions. Even the man with the greatest burden is of great worth to God, for he is His son and has the opportunity to obtain all that God has. Even that mans potential beyond imagination.

Breaking free may have seemed impossible up ‘till now, but with God, nothing is impossible! Success is inevitable to one who puts his trust in the Lord. To Him, you’ve already won. Do you wonder why 12 Step programs have been so successful at helping people out of addictions of all types, alcoholism, over eating, gambling, sex addictions, etc.?

One reason in addiction to the connection that one develops with their God in the course of the program is the place of honesty it can bring one to. When one admits before God that they are powerless with out him, they find that his power is more than sufficient. When they surrender their meager control over their addiction they find that the control He provides is much greater than they ever had.

This release may seem counterintuitive, after all, the river rages and you’re determined to fight it. Just let go and you’ll see that the heavens have already orchestrated your safe arrival on the shore.

One other reason that the 12 step programs are so powerful is that they are founded on the principles of personal responsibility and effort. You have been given power to act. You always have a choice even if your capacity has diminished through giving into porn over and over again.

You always have a choice. That choice may be as small as going to a meeting, starting to feast upon the word of God or to open up to a friend or family member, but remember, you always have a choice. As the successful Bob (What About Bob) once learned, “baby steps” is the way to move forward one step at a time.

Here’s one baby step you can take right now to enhance your letting go process: Fill out the form to the right and get access to a free mini-course packed with powerful principles that have helped thousands break their porn & sex addictions!

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Principle 1: There is hope! Addiction is understood very well and there are many who in the chains of porn addiction who have grasped onto that hope and have overcome.

Principle 2: You’re not alone! There are people who know how you feel. There are people tht know how to help and eager to do so. Your addiction is a personal problem, but it affects others as well and can be overcome with the help of others.

Principle 3: You have a choice! Addiction tears down resolve and many often come to a point of feeling like they have no choice – like they were born that way, like there’s nothing they can do, or like the efforts they make are worthless. This is absolutely false. You ALWAYS have a choice and that’s one of the most powerful tools to help you break free.

Now, thinking on the above ideas would be worth your while. Take some quiet moments and let them sink in. Ask yourself how you’ve thought and felt about them in the past and how you feel about them now. When you come to a point of hopefulness consider the following 3 actions you could do immediately to help you move towards freedom from your addiction.

Action 1: What’s most important to you? Take some time to consider and write down the things in life that build you, that make you excited, that bring you a sense of complete and utter joy and fulfillment. This will be a very powerful tool in your recovery. Do something to feel the power of these daily and the strength of your addiction will begin to weaken.

Action 2: Open your heart. Find someone you can trust to share fully what you’re struggling with. You may choose to share with a family member, a clergyman or close friend. This will break the power that your additions holds over you through secrecy. You’ll also realize that you can be loved and accepted and that your addiction may be a challenge to conquer, but it doesn’t determine your worth as a human being.

Action 3: Begin an organized plan. This may be a workbook, an addiction recovery program or going to see a counselor that can work with you to adopt healthy views of sexuality and to discover the joys to be had in freedom from pornography addiction.

If you’d like to learn more please fill in your name and email to the right for a free mini-course or learn a little about Sex Addicts Anonymous.

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1.Why do you masturbate?

2.Why do you wish to stop masturbating? Is it because someone close to you thinks it is disgusting or inappropriate? Is it because it interferes with your goals and plans? Is it because you feel deep inside that you’re not living to your fullest?

3.When did you begin masturbating? Perhaps you were taught while you were young. Perhaps when you were a teenager.

4.How often do you masturbate? The more frequently you masturbate the greater the chance of addiction.

5.When do you masturbate? Is there a time of day, like when you wake up or go to bed, that you choose to do it? Attention to this shines the light of awareness into the darkness of despair.

6.What feelings immediately precede your choice to masturbate? This may be a hard one (no pun intended). Often times the addiction gone unchecked leads the one addicted to form a routine. The routine is entered into often not even realizing that one is going into it. Identifying how you feel just before can help you know when you’re most vulnerable.

7.Do you view pornography while you masturbate? While they don’t always go hard in hand viewing pornography adds volumes of images later available for recall in fantasy. Porn doesn’t help an addiction.

8.Do you masturbate despite sexual relations with a spouse? If so, perhaps examining the state of the relationship would help. How open are you with each other? How much do you connect emotionally? Etc.

9.What are your beliefs about masturbation? That it’s okay? Healthy? Harmful? A sin? A moral weakness?? Your beliefs all largely play a part in your addiction. You’ll want to evaluate your Beliefs and look down deep to determine how correct they are.

10.What would life look like without being addicted to masturbation? Many forget that our thoughts determine our actions & without regularly seeing a pictures of freedom from addiction one cannot expect to ever escape.

If you’d like to receive some pornography addiction help, sign up for the free e-course at the right.

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First, hope. Know that deliverance is possible. Know that many others have traveled this path before you and have now have happy, loving & productive lives free from the chains of addiction.

Second, diligence. Look till you find what works for you. While there are some commonalities among addicts, there are definitely elements that will be very individual to you and you need to look until you find what works for you. Commit to learn all you can.

Now, as you’re seeking help let me guide you to several important lessons I’ve learned duffing my own struggle with pornography addiction.

1.You always have a choice! While porn & masturbation has dug a rut into my brain making it easier to consider it the solution to many of the challenges I face, I know I can always choose a healthier way that then makes the next choice easier to make.

2.Doing is being. There was a time when I was so frustrated with the control I was giving my addiction that I started to read everything I could about it thinking that if I could just learn that one thing that was keeping me addicted I’d stop automatically. I was looking for “the magic bullet.” There is no bit of learning that can do any good without taking action to test it. Knowing truth requires us to take action.

3.Consistency pays off. Along with my frantic attempts to learn all I could was the tendency to try something for a day or two then to conclude that it didn’t work. I subsequently moved on to the next bit of information that also could not work, not because it wasn’t true, but because I didn’t give it the sunlight and water of daily consistency. Think about these two scenarios. I brush my teeth 7 times each week. Good for me! My teeth will be strong and healthy, right? Well, one other thing, I did it all on Saturday. Does the analysis of my dental health change? Likewise, I am training for a marathon and do four months of running all the week before the race. Because it wasn’t spread out, my body didn’t have time to grow and recover before the race. So you can see, spread out, daily efforts is the only way to have long-term success in most things in life.

Take these thoughts for what their worth and if you’d like some more help from professionals that have helped thousands cure porn addiction just fill in your name in the form at the right for a free e-course and powerful podcasts.

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In psychology there’s a concept known as dissonance reduction. When reality appears to be different from one’s beliefs or desires it can create internal disharmony or what’s known as cognitive dissonance. A common way that people try to reconcile this uneasy gap between what is and what is wanted is to change one’s beliefs…to bring into harmony one’s desires/beliefs with the perceived reality, being content.

Now at times, contentment can be very helpful and positive, freeing one’s self of flawed self and world views. But, it is worth considering the Serenity Prayer of Alcoholics Anonymous: “God grant me the ability to change what I can, accept that which I cannot and the wisdom to know the difference.” The danger with always reducing dissonance by changing our beliefs should be obvious. Without a set of firm and true guiding principles we are likely to be tossed around every time something is difficult and ultimately never achieve greatness.

Life, by design, is meant to engage us in a grand learning experience. Pain or challenge is a great teacher to those seeking truth. This doesn’t necessarily mean that one intentionally seeks out these masterful educators. There is a second way to achieve a reduction of dissonance when reality seems to be separate from our desires.

Assuming that your beliefs are founded on true principles, i.e. they lead you to do good, to help others, to love and give and grow and have inner peace even when external circumstances are bereft of peace, then changing your behaviors or actions to align with your beliefs is at the very center of the principles of growth and change.

If we are here on earth to learn and grow and find and follow truth, which I believe that we are, then it’s a must to know when to change our beliefs to mirror truth and when to change our behaviors to do the same.

Cognitive Dissonance or internal uneasiness is almost like an indicator we can use to gauge our progress on our journeys through life, a life success barometer. Those feelings bring to our attention a basic need, calling to be filled. It’s then up to us to examine it to decide whether a belief needs to be changed or a behavior that needs to more closely fall in alignment with our beliefs.

Through thoughtful consideration and sincere prayer it would be in our best interest to decide whether we need to “stick to our guns” (our beliefs) and “cowboy up” (change our actions)  or whether we just need to let go of old and untrue beliefs. It’s my firm conviction that we all have a conscience that, if we listen, can tell us what paths will lead to happiness and what ones will lead to sadness and despair. Therefore, any decision to let go of our beliefs shouldn’t happen just because it’s challenging to live according to them.

When we live truth we will inevitably encounter situations where we are tested in our devotion to it. Peer pressure, popularity of an idea of idea or support of an philosophy by a leader shouldn’t be our yardstick for measuring truth. Truth, when pondered in quiet moments with a sincere desire to live what one learns will “ring true” in some way. Often it comes through a calm or peaceful assurance. I will get excited by the prospects when I feel the clean & pure power of truth. Then it’s up to us to decide how we need to change to fit what we have just learned.

I recently heard someone say that which we focus on expands. I have heard this same idea expressed in other ways over the years and it is something that rings true to me as I’ve observed the things on which I focus. Focus is also how the brain learns and grows. It lays down new connections to reinforce existing connections and the more we study or spend time with a topic the more intricate the network of neurons becomes around that topic.

I have felt the power in this concept as I have been practicing what my pornography recovery program calls gratitude breathing. Each morning and night I spend 20 minutes in a quiet, secluded place. I have written down 5 situations that are fearful or anxiety producing to me. I bring them to mind, one by one, imagining myself in the setting. When I begin to feel the temptation or urge arise to indulge in sexual fantasy I immediately begin deep breathing, in for 6 seconds and out for the same. During my first breathe I ask the Lord for help in seeing things clearly.

While I breathe in I think of something for which I am grateful. While I breathe out I let the gratitude fill my entire body. I repeat this 5 times. As I’ve done this, a powerful calm fill me and I’m able to see the situation more clearly. I then face the temptation and re-frame it by stating aloud what I want it to mean to me.

For example: if the temptation is seeing a woman immodestly dressed and feeling the urge to fantasize about seeing her nude or having sex with her, after clearing my mind and filling my heart with gratitude I may say out loud something like, “What a beautiful woman. I wonder what her hopes and dreams are. I am her brother, a protector of virtue. I love my girlfriend and am excited to give my all to her someday. These powerful feelings I’m having  are a gift from God to cement a loving relationship together. I choose to bridle my passions that I may be filled with love and respect for all women.”

This practice has prepared me to face temptations I inevitably have on a daily basis, temptations to align my actions with my feelings and leave behind my values and beliefs. It’s through a sincere study of and praying about the word of the Lord and other good books that I find the truths that can make one happy and it’s through living them that I live after the manner of happiness.

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I’ve decided to keep a fairly regular (as close to daily as I can) log of my journey from sexual addiction to freedom. I want it to be clear to myself and to anyone who ever asks, “how did you do it?!” that it was my Savior that reached into my life in small and simple ways to work great and marvelous changes in my life.

After continued evaluation and re-evaluation I’ve come up with 4 areas that really energize & motivate me. When I journal I will be asking myself the following questions as I daily strive for personal freedom from addiction.

My Journey of Freedom’s Focus Questions:

How did I see the Lord’s power to change in my life today while I…

1. …thoughtfully gave of myself to my brothers and sisters?
2. …gratefully remembered his mercy and grace?
3. …was learning about my addiction?
4. …courageously chose the right?

In this journal I hope to shed light on the truths of pornography use, to instill hope in those that are caught in the darkness of addiction, to inspire action and to help facilitate the success that will come to all those who wish it.

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There is a great teaching in many religions that can be summarized by the simple words of the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Ghandi said it this way, “be the change you wish to see in the world.” These sayings invite us to look inward and to focus on changing our own behavior. How wise indeed, for no man can change the habits of another unless he inspires action through the power of his own right conduct. We can only change ourselves.

Treating others with kindness because it’s how we’d like to be treated is a great reason to live a life of service. Looking deeper we can find that the reason these teachings exist is because our very understanding of life’s deepest truths can only be fully understood as we give ourselves to the aid of others.

Last week as I got ready for my day I had the strong impression that “we need each other.” The thought came seemingly out of the blue although it was preceeded by a smile and quick memory about my girlfriend. The thought however of us all needing each other sunk in deep during the moments that followed.

I recalled times where I had felt like I wanted escape being around others or that I could understand life without the help of others. I even felt that I could overcome my pornography addiction without the others, just me and God, that’s all I needed. Ironically, I often came to those feelings while reading books…written by, yup, others. I also would feel this superman-like determination after a relapse and because I was embarrassed to tell anyone of what I had done.

The power of connecting emotionally with others allows love flow freely as we give our energies; our time, our thoughts and prayers, our skills and passions, our laughter and our true understanding gained through lives experiences – to those around us. Indeed, it is ONLY through these, often difficult efforts, that any lasting connection can be made. Victor Brown said in his powerful book Human Intimacy: Illusion & Reality, “marriage (and for that matter, all relationships) is not for emotional weaklings.”

It’s so easy to overlook the debt which we owe to our fellow man…for just about EVERYTHING. I love to play the guitar. However, my enjoyment of this hobby would have been severely limited without the efforts of the thousands who came before me; those who studied acoustics, those that build prototypes who failed and tried again, those that diligently observed and documented the relationships between notes, those who sored to great musical heights and inspire greatness and those who took incentive to finance and manufacture the creation of affordable guitars. My enjoyment has been developed over centuries and I am the beneficiary. I owe those people a debt of gratitude.

When we truly see and feel the connection we have to others – that they are part of us, our brothers and sisters – we can open up and fully give of ourselves to them and in so doing know that all we give will be returned to us. In fact, we cannot fully receive that which we do not also give. Kindness is repaid with kindness. The healing of forgiveness is obtained when we afford it to others. We help others and in doing so we only help ourselves. This was beautifully illustrated in The Celestine Prophecy, a novel by James Redfield made motion picture in 2006 (watch through about 4:15)

Perhaps this is why the final step in the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Step Program is to give back and to share your story with others. We share our experiences to learn of ourselves. We gain freedom and hope as we share freedom and hope with others. Because love is such a powerful key to avoiding the pitfalls of pornography addiction it’s essential to learn to give love and to serve.

Glory to God!

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